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In recent years, it has been suggested that university provides better job opportunities than an apprenticeship. In my estimation, college creates many opportunities for individuals to have a stable income in the future.

In recent years, it has been suggested that university provides better job opportunities than an apprenticeship. In my estimation, college creates many opportunities for individuals to have a stable income in the future. RWPGG
In recent years, it has been suggested that university provides better job opportunities than an apprenticeship. In my estimation, college creates many opportunities for individuals to have a stable income in the future. To begin with, people can learn not only hard skills but also important soft skills at university. Usually, universities provide opportunities for students to practice and improve skills such as problem solving, critical thinking, computer skills, and others. In contrast, vocational schools only focus on teaching knowledge related to that profession. In the present, it can be said that employers value individuals with soft skills since various issues arise in the workplace, such as cultural conflicts, language conflicts, pressure and it is necessary to have someone with good soft skills to be able to solve those. A perfect example is Vietnam, some employers often create problems related to life, then ask employees to solve them and the recruiters will rely on that solution to recruit employees instead of focusing on technical skills. Secondly, possessing a university degree will create conditions for people to advance in work faster. For example, graduates from vocational schools need to study additional university degrees and other qualifications to have chances to be considered for management positions, while university graduates already have those. In addition, people with university degrees are often nominated for higher positions than those from vocational schools. This is therefore clear that learning at university is one of the advantages. In consideration of those points mentioned above, I reaffirm my position that university brings many benefits to individuals. In the years to come, it may be the goal of many students.
In recent years, it has
been suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
provides better job opportunities than an apprenticeship. In my estimation, college creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities for individuals to have a stable income in the future.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can learn not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Usually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
provide opportunities for students to practice and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as problem solving, critical thinking, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
In contrast
, vocational schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on teaching knowledge related to that profession. In the present, it can
be said
that employers value individuals with soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
since various issues arise in the workplace, such as cultural conflicts, language conflicts, pressure and it is necessary to have someone with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to be able to solve those. A perfect example is Vietnam,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
create problems related to life, then ask employees to solve them and the recruiters will rely on that solution to recruit employees
instead
of focusing on technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Secondly
, possessing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree will create conditions for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to advance in work faster.
For example
, graduates from vocational schools need to study additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degrees and other qualifications to have chances to
be considered
for management positions, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates already have those.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degrees are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
nominated for higher positions than those from vocational schools. This is
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that learning at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is one of the advantages.

In consideration of those points mentioned above, I reaffirm my position that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to individuals. In the years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
, it may be the goal of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students.
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IELTS essay In recent years, it has been suggested that university provides better job opportunities than an apprenticeship. In my estimation, college creates many opportunities for individuals to have a stable income in the future.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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