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in recent years, farming practice has changed to include methods such as factory farming and the use of technology to improve crops. Some people believe that these development are neccessary, which others regard them as ddangerous and advocate a return to more traditional farming methods. Discuss both point of view and give your own opinion.

in recent years, farming practice has changed to include methods such as factory farming and the use of technology to improve crops. Some people believe that these development are neccessary, which others regard them as ddangerous and advocate a return to more traditional farming methods. kYbgO
In past decades, the development of farming practice has altered because the advancement of technology and factory farming useful for improving crops while Others claim that these innovations are considered negative effects so traditional farming methods should be developed and maintained. To begin with, the use of technology can be helpful as a positive approach. The first reason is that the advancement of technology create new breed of plants and animals so that the the food demand will be dramatically increased and the population of world reached on the rapid rise. Furthermore, factory farming and vegetable growing in greenhouse reduce the loss of epidemic diseases or bad weather happens. For instance, Storms of typhoons, plants may be fall down by strong winds and crop failures due to outside grow. On the other hand, the new innovations and factory farming both have negative consequences. I think that factory farming products are too hazardous. For example, pathogens, antibiotics, bacteria can lead to many harmful diseases. It is also argued that many chemical substances and toxic elements are detrimental effect on environment and food. Breeding programs can be used traditional farming practices for genetically modified products(GMP). However, the tradition way of farming Should be implemented so the food production should be escalated. In conclusion, It is clear that both ways of farming techniques has pros and cons. But, In my opinion, I believe that factory farming and the usage of technology are valuable to rise food demand and population of world. While It is also unsafe for the environment as well as food production. So we applied traditional way of farming system.
In past decades, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
practice has altered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
useful for improving crops while Others claim that these innovations
are considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
methods should
be developed
and maintained.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be helpful as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
approach. The
first
reason is that the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
create new breed of plants and animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
demand will be
dramatically
increased and the population of world reached on the rapid rise.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
and vegetable growing in greenhouse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the loss of epidemic diseases or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
weather happens.
For instance
, Storms of typhoons, plants may be fall down by strong winds and crop failures due to outside grow.

On the other hand
, the new innovations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
both have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
products are too hazardous.
For example
, pathogens, antibiotics, bacteria can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harmful diseases. It is
also
argued that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chemical substances and toxic elements are detrimental effect on environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Breeding programs can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
practices for
genetically
modified products(GMP).
However
, the tradition way of farming

Should
be implemented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production should
be escalated
.

In conclusion
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that both ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
techniques has pros and cons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
and the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are valuable to rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
demand and population of world. While It is
also
unsafe for the environment
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we applied traditional way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
system.
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IELTS essay in recent years, farming practice has changed to include methods such as factory farming and the use of technology to improve crops. Some people believe that these development are neccessary, which others regard them as ddangerous and advocate a return to more traditional farming methods.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • in recent years, farming practice has changed to include methods such as factory farming and the use of technology to improve crops. Some people believe that these development are neccessary, which others regard them as ddangerous and advocate a return to more traditional farming methods. Discuss both point of view and give your own opinion.