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Professional sports people are often idolized by young children. Some people think that they, therefore, have a responsibility to be good role models at all times for children. Do you agree or disagree?

Professional sports people are often idolized by young children. Some people think that they, therefore, have a responsibility to be good role models at all times for children. kYbxO
Obviously, adolescents usually admire the talented and well-known people who have specialized in sports, as a result, part of people say that sportsmen ought to take responsibility for setting up a good example incessantly. In my opinion, it is unnecessary for them to be a well character models at all times for the teenagers. To begin, professional sportsmen always make an effort to present the beneficial behaviors in most situation, which has been profound influence on those who are adorable. Besides, paying enthusiasm on training and competing can also encourage children. Thus, youngster will consider it and reflect more positive on their action. For example, those students who have participated in varsity always desire to be shiny like those sports celebrities on the field. In this view, sportsmen seem required to be immaculate, but there are some drawbacks we should not neglect. By contrast, no one can escape from doing wrong, athletes being perfect role models can bring an extremely stress due to the examined and expected by society. Consequently, they get rid of their pressure through doing something incorrect. For instance, such as, some of them addicted to taking drugs illegally or indulged in alcohol which caused them driving while intoxicated. In other word, doing the erroneous behavior is the way how they can feel comfortable.
Obviously
, adolescents
usually
admire the talented and well-known
people
who have specialized in sports,
as a result
, part of
people
say that sportsmen ought to take responsibility for setting up a
good
example
incessantly
. In my opinion,

it is unnecessary for them to be a well character models at all times for the
teenagers
.

To
begin
, professional sportsmen always
make
an effort to present the beneficial behaviors in most situation, which has been profound influence on those who are adorable.
Besides
, paying enthusiasm on training and competing can
also
encourage children.
Thus
, youngster will consider it and reflect more
positive
on their action.

For example
, those students who have participated in varsity always desire to be shiny like those sports celebrities on the field. In this view, sportsmen seem required to be immaculate,
but
there are
some
drawbacks we should not neglect.

By contrast, no one can escape from doing
wrong
, athletes being perfect role models can bring an
extremely
stress
due to the examined and
expected
by society.
Consequently
, they
get
rid of their pressure through doing something incorrect.
For instance
, such as,
some
of them addicted to taking drugs
illegally
or indulged in alcohol which caused them driving while intoxicated. In other word, doing the erroneous behavior is the way how they can feel comfortable.
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IELTS essay Professional sports people are often idolized by young children. Some people think that they, therefore, have a responsibility to be good role models at all times for children.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
217 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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