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In recent years, animal extinction has gained increasing popularity, due to human activities on land and in oceans sea.

In recent years, animal extinction has gained increasing popularity, due to human activities on land and in oceans sea. XljVY
In recent years, animal extinction has gained increasing popularity, due to human activities on land and in oceans sea. this issue is attributed to A myriad of great deal of reasons cause this issue and a number of solutions should be proposed to tackle this problem. On the one hand, there are two reasons which are the major culprit behind this problem. Firstly, the demand for animal parts meat of humans in modern society is on the rise. These parts are mainly used to express their social levels and treat terminal illnesses. , leading to illegal exploitation. thus many people use electricity to mass fish kills. Additionally, illegal exploitation is Worst still, many people even employ electricity to kill fish on a masive scale employed to hunt red-listed animals Secondly, environmental pollution partly contribute to is a part of animal extinction. Exploiting oil from the ship or other modes in the ocean sometimes results in Leaked oil, which from the ship or other modes flows to the sea and or ocean and affects the whole marine water. Furthermore, some substances used by farmers kill pets or weeds seep into the ground and make the groundwater become more dirty. This has led to the marine at a higher risk of extinction. Secondly, On the other hand, a solution can be adopted to improve this problem. Measure is that governments should impose a ban on illegal trade, setting a limit of catching marine animals. This solution can avoid any actions that are likely to be detrimental to the ocean. Additionally, if people try to catch fish, authorities should take serious action. Last but not least, governments should enact stricter punishments for poachers to prevent them from putting animal extinction at a higher risk of extinction. In conclusion, the reasons causing animal extinction are varied, thus governments and individuals should have an awareness of addressing this issue, protecting them and gain sustainable developments in long term.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
has gained increasing popularity, due to human activities on land and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oceans
sea.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
issue
is attributed
to A myriad of great deal of reasons cause this issue and a number of solutions should
be proposed
to tackle this problem.

On the one hand, there are two reasons which are the major culprit behind this problem.
Firstly
, the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
parts meat of humans in modern society is on the rise. These parts are
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to express their social levels and treat terminal illnesses.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
leading to illegal exploitation.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
thus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electricity to mass fish kills.
Additionally
, illegal exploitation is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Worst".
Worst
still
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
even employ electricity to kill fish on a
Possible spelling mistake found.
masive
scale employed to hunt red-listed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
Secondly
, environmental pollution partly contribute to is a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
. Exploiting oil from the ship or other modes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
results in Leaked oil, which from the ship or other modes flows to the sea and or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
and affects the whole marine water.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
substances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by farmers kill pets or weeds seep into the ground and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the groundwater become more dirty. This has led to the marine at a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
.
Secondly
,

On the other hand
, a solution can
be adopted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this problem. Measure is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should impose a ban on illegal trade, setting a limit of catching marine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This solution can avoid any actions that are likely to be detrimental to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
.
Additionally
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
try to catch fish, authorities should take serious action. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should enact stricter punishments for poachers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
at a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of extinction.

In conclusion
, the reasons causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
are varied
,
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals should have an awareness of addressing this issue, protecting them and gain sustainable developments in long term.
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IELTS essay In recent years, animal extinction has gained increasing popularity, due to human activities on land and in oceans sea.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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