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In recent years, a large number of people around the world are tending to engage in commitments late such as marriage and engagement. In my opinion, there are several causes of this and various positive perspectives to its development.

In recent years, a large number of people around the world are tending to engage in commitments late such as marriage and engagement. In my opinion, there are several causes of this and various positive perspectives to its development. jdVx1
To begin with, there are several reasons why most people are getting married later across the world. On the other hand, many people would like to achieve their ultimate goals, especially in their careers. They aim to obtain higher positions with substantial income to settle down their lives before having their own family. For example, most Thai people get married when they are between 35s and 40s as they have stable jobs with a considerable amount of money. Another reason is that a large number of people tend to have a higher education because they prioritise academics as a form of successful life. For instance, some Thai people are likely to have higher degrees such as a master or a doctorate and it takes approximately 5 years to earn certificates, which would affect their marriage plan. This is why we see many people get married or engage late in many countries. There are various reasons why I believe that this is a positive development. Firstly, it would not cause serious problems to communities as people who get married late have a good mind set. So they would not do things to affect their lives and they would consider any perspectives before making decisions or tackling problems. Another advantage is that governments do not need to allocate a substantial budget to these people because they have enough money to raise their children after they get married. They can provide their children with good facilities and extra courses without reliance on the governments’ support. Instead of subsidizing these people, the governments can spend these amounts on other projects to develop their countries, which leads to benefits for people of all backgrounds. In conclusion, although there are several reasons for getting married late across the world, I personally believe that it depends on a person's preference to consider both the positive and negative aspects and come up with their own conclusions.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting married later across the world.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to achieve their ultimate goals,
especially
in their careers. They aim to obtain higher positions with substantial income to settle down their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
having their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family.
For example
, most Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married when they are between 35s and 40s as they have stable jobs with a considerable amount of money. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to have a higher education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
academics as a form of successful life.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to have higher degrees such as a master or a doctorate and it takes approximately 5 years to earn certificates, which would affect their marriage plan. This is why we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married or engage late in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.

There are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why I believe that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
Firstly
, it would not cause serious problems to communities as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married late have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mind set.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they would not do things to affect their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lives and
they would consider any perspectives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making decisions or tackling problems. Another advantage is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
do not need to allocate a substantial budget to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to raise their children after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married. They can provide their children with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
facilities and extra courses without reliance on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
’ support.
Instead
of subsidizing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can spend these amounts on other projects to develop their countries, which leads to benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all backgrounds.

In conclusion
, although there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for getting married late across the world, I
personally
believe that it depends on a person's preference to consider both the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
conclusions.
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IELTS essay In recent years, a large number of people around the world are tending to engage in commitments late such as marriage and engagement. In my opinion, there are several causes of this and various positive perspectives to its development.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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