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In recent times, the elderly have been taken to the care or nursing homes instead of being cared for by their families. There are some benefits and drawbacks in this tendency

In recent times, the elderly have been taken to the care or nursing homes instead of being cared for by their families. There are some benefits and drawbacks in this tendency ra5yJ
Moving the old generations in the families into the nursing home is beneficial in some perspectives. Firstly, the elderly can receive better treatment and full-time care since the caretakers are professionally trained. Due to the hustle and bustle of the new society, the younger generations have little time and they cannot fully provide care for the older generations even though they completely acknowledge their responsibilities to the elderly. In care homes, the well-trained nurses will help the elderly at any time. Secondly, the young members are able to focus on their study and work. Looking after the elderly is a challenging task and requires an edifice of time and patience. As a result, the nursing home is one of the best options, not only supplying the old careful supervision from experienced staff but also giving the young time and space to efficiently finish their work and study. On the other hand, this trend displays some disadvantages. Although the care home can offer excellent caring and nursing, there are several nursing homes without any license which is likely to pose a threat to the old generations. The unlicensed care homes usually have low-quality equipment and facility and unskilled staff, againsting all the families’ expectations. It is highly possible that these poor conditions put their elderly into unwanted as well as unpleasant situations. Moreover, the tendency causes mere oblivion to the elderly. As some members have overused the nursing home option, they are mindless of and irresponsible to their old generations in the care home. It can make the elderly suffer from loneliness and some other mental health. In conclusion, putting the elderly in the nursing home is not a completely new trend and it offers family members upside and downside. However, they should consider this option based on their finance, time and social moral standards to make appropriate decisions.
Moving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generations in the families into the nursing home is beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
perspectives.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
can receive better treatment and full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
since the caretakers are
professionally
trained. Due to the hustle and bustle of the new society, the younger generations have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they cannot
fully
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for the older generations
even though
they completely acknowledge their responsibilities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, the well-trained nurses will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Secondly
, the young members are able to focus on their study and work. Looking after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
is a challenging task and requires an edifice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and patience.
As a result
, the nursing home is one of the best options, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
supplying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
careful supervision from experienced staff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
giving the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and space to
efficiently
finish their work and study.

On the other hand
, this trend displays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home can offer excellent caring and nursing, there are several nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
without any license which is likely to pose a threat to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generations. The unlicensed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
usually
have low-quality equipment and facility and unskilled staff,
Possible spelling mistake found.
againsting
all the families’ expectations. It is
highly
possible that these poor conditions put their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
into unwanted
as well
as unpleasant situations.
Moreover
, the tendency causes mere oblivion to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
members have overused the nursing home option, they are mindless of and irresponsible to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generations in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
suffer from loneliness and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other mental health.

In conclusion
, putting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
in the nursing home is not a completely new trend and it offers family members upside and downside.
However
, they should consider this option based on their finance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and social moral standards to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
appropriate decisions.
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IELTS essay In recent times, the elderly have been taken to the care or nursing homes instead of being cared for by their families. There are some benefits and drawbacks in this tendency

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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