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method of punishing crimes ,law,crimes,

method of punishing crimes, law, crimes, PMO7K
Opinions differ as to whether punishing all crimes using a fixed method would be more effective or not. This essay prefers the latter idea and will clarify this by manifesting some disadvantages and advantages the method could bring. On the one hand, having a fixed punishment could intimidate potential crimes if the punishment is considered formidable. Hence, a reduction in crime could be made possible by adopting it. Also, it would reduce the work assigned to people working in the system, as they no longer need to consider which will be the best solution to each crime, and they also do not have to suffer from people disagreements towards their solution. Furthermore, not having to do the consideration for appropriate punishment also means there would be more time available to do other jobs, or, being able to earn more revenue of the people working in the field. On the other hand, this way of punishing convicted people are inevitably considered unfair, due to the different reasons, motives behind each crime, and consequences they bring. To clarify, as mentioning above, if it is a harsh punishment which is applied to all crimes, it could assist crimes to decrease. On the contrary, if being a easy one, the adverse effect might occur when being applied, which means the number of crimes would rather grow. Moreover, as mentioning above, every crimes are different in terms of many factors, adopting a fixed solution to each one of them are very logical and very unethical as well. For examples, murdering should not be treated as street thefts or pocket lifters, and vice versa. Hence, it would not be practical to executing this idea in reality. In conclusion, the disadvantages should outweigh the advantages, due to the fact that although this idea may save time and help gaining profits, it does not sound very logical and practical to be brought into reality.
Opinions differ
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
punishing all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
using a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
method would be more effective or not. This essay prefers the latter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and will clarify this by manifesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages and advantages the method could bring.

On the one hand, having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
could intimidate potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is considered
formidable.
Hence
, a reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
could
be made
possible by adopting it.
Also
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the work assigned to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working in the system, as they no longer need to consider which will be the best solution to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, and they
also
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagreements towards their solution.
Furthermore
, not having to do the consideration for appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
also
means there would be more time available to do other jobs, or, being able to earn more revenue of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working in the field.

On the other hand
, this way of punishing convicted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
inevitably
considered unfair, due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons, motives behind each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, and consequences they bring. To clarify, as mentioning above, if it is a harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
which
is applied
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, it could assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
to decrease.
On the contrary
, if being
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
easy one, the adverse effect might occur when
being applied
, which means the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
would
rather
grow.
Moreover
, as mentioning above, every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "(crimes)"?
crimes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in terms of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors, adopting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
solution to each one of them are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
logical and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unethical
as well
. For examples, murdering should not
be treated
as street thefts or pocket lifters, and vice versa.
Hence
, it would not be practical to executing this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in reality.

In conclusion
, the disadvantages should outweigh the advantages, due to the fact that although this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
may save time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to gain" or "gain".
gaining
profits, it does not sound
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
logical and practical to
be brought
into reality.
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IELTS essay method of punishing crimes, law, crimes,

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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