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In order to solve traffic problems, government should tax private car owners heavily and use their money to improve public transport. What are the advantages of such solutions? v.2

In order to solve traffic problems, government should tax private car owners heavily and use their money to improve public transport. What are the advantages of such solutions? v. 2
Traffic congestion in many cities around the world is getting worst due to more private cars used. Therefore, many believe that the government should increase taxes for those who own a private car and use the money for public transport improvement. This essay will discuss the positive and negative side in details. Increasing taxes which car owner must pay would have positive effect for everyone. The heavy taxes would discourage car owners from using their cars because it would become expensive to drive and they begin to use public transportation instead. However, it can reduce traffic problems and pollution as well. For example, people in Indonesia prefer to use private car to commute due to efficiency and convenience than using public transport although travel by car take more time because of traffic congestion occurred everywhere. On the other hand, taxing private vehicles heavily bring negative effects for society. People who lived in area which are not covered by proper public transport such as those who lived in rural area need to change mode of public transport because the route might not pass through that area. Hence, private car considered as the best option and if the tax raised significantly it will lead another problem for them. For example, people in Indonesia prefer to use private accommodation due to unavailable public transportation which pass their area, thus car chosen as the most convenient mode of transport. In conclusion, charging private car owners heavily has its own benefits and drawbacks. People could travel with public transportation and reduce the traffic congestion. However, people who lived in uncovered proper mass transport would experience a big problem.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traffic
congestion in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities around the world is getting
A determiner is probably missing here: "the worst".
worst
due to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
improvement. This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

Increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect for everyone. The heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
would discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners from using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would become expensive to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
drive and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation
instead
.
However
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problems and pollution
as well
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Indonesia prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
to commute due to efficiency and convenience than using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
although travel by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
take more time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion occurred everywhere.

On the other hand
, taxing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
vehicles
heavily
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects for society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
which are not covered by proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
such as those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the route might not pass through that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Hence
,
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private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
considered as the best option and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
raised
significantly
it will lead another problem for them.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Indonesia prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
accommodation due to unavailable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation which pass their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
chosen as the most convenient mode of transport.

In conclusion
, charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners
heavily
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and drawbacks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
could travel with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in uncovered proper mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
would experience a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to solve traffic problems, government should tax private car owners heavily and use their money to improve public transport. What are the advantages of such solutions? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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