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In order to learn a language well, we should learn about the country as well as the cultures and lifestyles of the people who speak it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

In order to learn a language well, we should learn about the country as well as the cultures and lifestyles of the people who speak it. v. 1
Mankind evolved dramatically over the past centuries. It is thought that, in the future, human health will begin to decay. I completely agree with this line of thought, because pollution is taking over main cities and basic resources are becoming affected by it. The biggest cities in the world are also the most polluted ones. Industries and vehicles are causing the quality of the air to decrease. Pollution in the air is an important source of harmful substances that could cause disease. Breathing this air is highly dangerous and researchers have already shown that it increases the risk of lung cancer. For that reason, living in major centres is becoming a safety hazard. Besides that, harmful substances rejected by companies are finding their way to rivers and other water sources. Water is vital for a variety of bodily functions and mankind could not survive without it. Unknowingly, even people who live outside large cities are consuming poor quality water, which could diminish their health in a long or even short period of time. For example, the water could contain heavy metals that can build up over time in a variety of organs, such as the brain and liver, causing them to shut down. Drinking polluted water is something that could affect whole communities, causing illness and even death. In conclusion, the evolution of humanity came with dangerous consequences and the amount of pollution we cause got out of hand. Even though some organisations are trying to raise awareness on this matter, it might be too late. There are some damages that cannot be undone and it could cost the health of future generations.
Mankind evolved
dramatically
over the past centuries. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that, in the future, human health will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to decay. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this line of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
pollution is taking over main cities and basic resources are becoming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by it.

The biggest cities in the world are
also
the most polluted ones. Industries and vehicles are causing the quality of the air to decrease. Pollution in the air is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source of harmful substances that could cause disease. Breathing this air is
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and researchers have already shown that it increases the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of lung cancer. For that reason, living in major
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
is becoming a safety hazard.

Besides
that, harmful substances rejected by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are finding their way to rivers and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
sources.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
is vital for a variety of
bodily
functions and mankind could not survive without it.
Unknowingly
, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
outside large cities are consuming poor quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, which could diminish their health in a long or even short period of time.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
could contain heavy metals that can build up over time in a variety of organs, such as the brain and liver, causing them to shut down. Drinking polluted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is something that could
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
whole communities, causing illness and even death.

In conclusion
, the evolution of humanity came with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
consequences and the amount of pollution we cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
out of hand.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
are trying to raise awareness on this matter, it might be too late. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
damages that cannot be undone and it could cost the health of future generations.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to learn a language well, we should learn about the country as well as the cultures and lifestyles of the people who speak it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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