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In oder to learn a language well, we should also learn about the country as well as the cultures and lifestyles of the people who speak this language. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion. v.1

In oder to learn a language well, we should also learn about the country as well as the cultures and lifestyles of the people who speak this language. with this opinion. v. 1
While there are some museums and galleries whose visitors have to buy a ticket, others let them enter for free. Although having free entry may encourage the local people to take a look at these places, it will be useless for the host as money is needed for renovations and other services. In my opinion, the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages. In fact, tourism is a really important source of income for any country, an advantage, that would have been otherwise impossible if admission to museums had been free of charge. Moreover, Galleries' owners need these admission fees in order to provide a good quality of service offered to those who come and visit the place. For example, Egypt has twenty percent of the annual national income stemming from tourism. Therefore, charging tourists for entry is not only acceptable, but also essential. On the contrary, paying a lot to visit a historical place is somehow frustrating to the native population. Furthermore, they will feel less appreciated because they don't have to be charged while seeing the monuments of their own country. For example, Japan makes sure to organize monthly school trips to the national places of interest without charging their children anything in return. It is for these reasons, it is preposterous to think that everyone should pay to visit a gallery whether a tourist or not. In conclusion, some historical and artistic fair charge people for admission, however, it's not the case everywhere where you have to pay nothing in similar but different locations. Despite having a major advantage of contributing to the economic boost, making the national population frustrated because they aren't supposed to be paying such fees is a significant disadvantage. From my perspective, the benefits of such a situation outweigh the disadvantages.
While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
museums and galleries whose visitors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a ticket, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them enter for free. Although having free entry may encourage the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to take a look at these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, it will be useless for the host as money
is needed
for renovations and other services. In my opinion, the advantages of charging for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
outweigh the disadvantages.

In fact, tourism is a
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source of income for any country, an advantage, that would have been
otherwise
impossible if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
to museums had been free of charge.
Moreover
,

Galleries' owners need these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
fees in order to provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality of service offered to those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
For example
, Egypt has twenty percent of the annual national income stemming from tourism.
Therefore
, charging tourists for entry is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
acceptable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
essential.

On the contrary
, paying a lot to visit a historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is somehow frustrating to the native population.
Furthermore
, they will feel less appreciated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be charged
while seeing the monuments of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.
For example
, Japan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sure to organize monthly school trips to the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
of interest without charging their children anything in return. It is for these reasons, it is preposterous to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that everyone should pay to visit a gallery whether a tourist or not.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
historical and artistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
charge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
,
however
, it's not the case everywhere where you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay nothing in similar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
locations. Despite having a major advantage of contributing to the economic boost, making the national population frustrated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they aren't supposed to be paying such fees is a significant disadvantage. From my perspective, the benefits of such a situation outweigh the disadvantages.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In oder to learn a language well, we should also learn about the country as well as the cultures and lifestyles of the people who speak this language. with this opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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