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In numerous countries , Parents often said to their kid if they put a lot of effort into something they could seize anything they want

In numerous countries, Parents often said to their kid if they put a lot of effort into something they could seize anything they want N3xxm
In numerous countries, Parents often said to their kid if they put a lot of effort into something they could seize anything they want. Although this advice has many positive impacts on children, it still has drawbacks. To prove this, some benefits of this phenomenon wil be made. This advice would give the childrens always believe in themselves, children when their receive this advice they will form a strong belief about how wonderful life is. As I see it, kids who have received this guidance, their have the confidence more than others, they could complete tough tasks owing to the belief that the could achieve anything. Furthermore, Kids who started to believe in themselves at a very young age tend to have more chance to success. For example, my cousin who is a entrepreneur told me that he is at this position because of what his parents told him as a kid that if you put enough effort eventually it will pay off. On the other hand, Life is crucial sometimes, something is impractical to conquer. A kid when he fail a task or goal constantly, he start to lose hope and form a negative thought. For instance, if a kid who wants to be a professional footballer but he does not have the standard physical condition for a footballer, it would be impossible for him to be a footballer no matter how hard he try. In my view, giving this message to children is important, every kid should receive this guidance, however we should add more pratical details into this advice. In conclusion, it is vital for childrens to believe in themselves and give them hopes. Still we should pay attention what we advise them because they will grow up with that instruction.
In numerous countries, Parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
if they put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effort into something they could seize anything they want. Although this advice has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, it
still
has drawbacks. To prove this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of this phenomenon
Possible spelling mistake found.
wil
be made
.

This advice would give the
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
always believe in themselves,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when their
Did you mean the noun "reception" (= the act of receiving) or "receipt" (= invoice)?
receive
this advice they will form a strong belief about how wonderful life is. As I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have received this guidance, their have the confidence more than others, they could complete tough tasks owing to the belief that
Did you mean "they", "that" or "there"?
the
could achieve anything.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to believe in themselves at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age tend to have more chance to success.
For example
, my cousin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
entrepreneur
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that he is at this position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of what his parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
that if you put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
effort
eventually
it will pay off.

On the other hand
, Life is crucial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, something is impractical to conquer. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
when he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "fails", "failed".
fail
a task or goal
constantly
, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "starts", "started".
start
to lose hope and form a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wants to be a professional footballer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he does not have the standard physical condition for a footballer, it would be impossible for him to be a footballer no matter how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "tries", "tried".
try
. In my view, giving this message to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
should receive this guidance,
however
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
pratical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
into this advice.

In conclusion
, it is vital for
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
to believe in themselves and give them hopes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Still
we should pay attention what we advise them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will grow up with that instruction.
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IELTS essay In numerous countries, Parents often said to their kid if they put a lot of effort into something they could seize anything they want

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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