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in number of countries population of young people more than the older. Do the advantages of this more than disadvantages?

in number of countries population of young people more than the older. Do the advantages of this more than disadvantages? pJaP3
Nowadays the population of youth more than older people is incorporated in few nations. While there are some drawbacks associated with this trend, I believe its benefits are more significant. The main disadvantage of raising the proportion of young generation is increase the unemployment rate. It is because the job vacancies in government and corporate sector are limited, so if the young population rises considerably in a country, the throat cut competition would be recorded for getting employment. For example, 41% of Indians are below 40 year old; resultantly more than one million applicants apply for Civil Services every year, whereas vacancies are only near about 2000. Lack of experience is another drawback of this practice. Even though youngsters are more energetic than older, some time they cannot handle the crucial situation properly due to the in experience. Therefore, someone rightly said that new broom sweeps clean clearly but old broom knows every corner. However, in my view, the advantages of youth population are more important because it can play an instrumental role in strengthen the economy and defense sector. Firstly, when most of the population of a country young, the government will have to spend fewer funds on health and depended people. As a result, they would invest these funds into build infrastructure for economic development, such as new universities, research centers and public industries. Secondly, sans of youth, making the strong defense system for any country is an impossible task. For instance, The Indian Armed Forces strength has been crossed 1. 4 million personnel; it is word second largest military force. This is possible only due to large proportion of young people. To conclude, the disadvantages of young generation is outweighed by its advantages, in terms of boost the economy and fortify the defense sector.
Nowadays the
population
of youth more than older
people
is
incorporated in few nations. While there are
some
drawbacks associated with this trend, I believe its benefits are more significant.

The main disadvantage of raising the proportion of
young
generation is increase the unemployment rate. It is
because
the job vacancies in
government
and corporate sector
are limited
,
so
if the
young
population
rises
considerably
in a country, the throat
cut
competition would
be recorded
for getting employment.
For example
, 41% of Indians are below 40 year
old
;
resultantly
more than one million applicants apply for Civil Services every year, whereas vacancies are
only
near about 2000. Lack of experience is another drawback of this practice.
Even though
youngsters are more energetic than older,
some
time they cannot handle the crucial situation
properly
due to the in experience.
Therefore
, someone
rightly
said that new broom sweeps clean
clearly
but
old
broom knows every corner.

However
, in my view, the advantages of youth
population
are more
important
because
it can play an instrumental role in strengthen the economy and defense sector.
Firstly
, when most of the
population
of a country
young
, the
government
will
have to
spend fewer funds on health and
depended
people
.
As a result
, they would invest these funds into build infrastructure for economic development, such as new universities, research centers and public industries.
Secondly
, sans of youth, making the strong defense system for any country is an impossible task.
For instance
, The Indian Armed Forces strength has
been crossed
1. 4 million personnel; it is word second largest military force. This is possible
only
due to large proportion of
young
people
.

To conclude
, the disadvantages of
young
generation
is outweighed
by its advantages, in terms of boost the economy and fortify the defense sector.
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IELTS essay in number of countries population of young people more than the older. Do the advantages of this more than disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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