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Equality between men and women

Equality between men and women 5bBoN
Equality between men and women is pratised in all countries consequencely they have rights to do numerous kind of jobs, so the division of household chores is obvious. I completely agree with this opinion because it will bring a more civilized family life In term of influences of sharing house hold in family in the recent years, husband and wife relation is greatly getting strongger. That will eliminate the outdated stereotype which existed in the past a long time. In the old days, most individual believed that men were a breadwinner in family who took on the huge things and on the contrary, women we're a housewife who had to do all chores and taken care of children. Nevertheless, in modern days, this stereotype no longer exists, males and females are highly equitable. They are sharing their works with each other so that the quality of work will be better. For example, if women are working all time from morning to night, men will undertake chores and it is vice versa. On the contrary, according to the recent survey, most men are unversed in doing housework or looking after children and only the minority of them can master such kind of jobs. It is extremely difficult for males if they undertake these sort of work because they are less experienced in dealing with household tasks. As a consequence, men may end up doing these work in a less perfect way as women which lead to numerous family problems such as unnecessary quarres. Nevertheless, this situation is quite rare since women can share some tips for husbands to solve work. Moreover, if men are not good at cooking, they can learn it from YouTube thanks to technological advances. In conclusion, sharing household chores play an crucial role in most modern family in recent years, so socio-economic factors will process and relation between wives and husban will be more tighten due to the elimination of the gender gap
Equality between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
pratised
in all countries
Possible spelling mistake found.
consequencely
they have rights to do numerous kind of jobs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the division of household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
is obvious. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will bring a more civilized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life In term of influences of sharing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
hold in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in the recent years, husband and wife relation is
greatly
getting
Possible spelling mistake found.
strongger
. That will eliminate the outdated stereotype which existed in the past a long time. In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days, most individual believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were a breadwinner in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
who took on the huge things and
on the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
we're a housewife who had to do all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
and taken care of children.
Nevertheless
, in modern days, this stereotype no longer exists, males and females are
highly
equitable. They are sharing their works with each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will be better.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are working all time from morning to night,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
will undertake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
and it is vice versa.
On the contrary
, according to the recent survey, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are unversed
in doing housework or looking after children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the minority of them can master such kind of jobs. It is
extremely
difficult for males if they undertake
Did you mean "this sort" or "these sorts"?
these sort
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are less experienced in dealing with household tasks. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up doing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a less perfect way as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
which lead to numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
problems such as unnecessary
Possible spelling mistake found.
quarres
.
Nevertheless
, this situation is quite rare since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tips for husbands to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at cooking, they can learn it from YouTube thanks to technological advances.
In conclusion
, sharing household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
play
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
crucial role in most modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
factors will process and relation between wives and
Possible spelling mistake found.
husban
will be more tighten due to the elimination of the gender
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
gap
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IELTS essay Equality between men and women

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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