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in nowadays standards of living gap between cities and villages and what can it reduce this gap

in nowadays standards of living gap between cities and villages and what can it reduce this gap wKJ6e
Modern days are witnessing an advent of technological era owing to which it can be said that we are now facing a gap in between cities and villages. This statement holds water in India too, and by providing proper facilities as well as amenities to the people living in countryside, this gap can be filled. To start with, undoubtedly, it is technology and advancements in living style that are widening gap between cities and countryside. I believe, in my nation, this trouble is also being faced at a monumental scale. Firstly, education in countryside is not upto the mark which means students there are still deprived of quality education. In-brief, outskirts are unable to compete cities since later areas are emphasising on smart classrooms along with study about foreign languages such as English, French and Spanish. As a result, by boosting considerable money towards education sector in villages, this gap can be restricted. Secondly, it has been a proven fact that masses residing in countryside are devoid of ultra-modern medical facilities due to the fact people have to rush towards big cities during any emergency. For instance, villages in India are running out of basic facilities such as ventilators as well as concept of first-aid. Therefore, it should be the moral responsibility of government to pump more budget in medical sector especially around villages and appointment of the best doctors should be done. Last but not the last, I am of the opinion that villages are unable to provide jobs and business opportunities to people especially young minds. To be more precise, youngsters have to move from countryside to cities to get respectful jobs after their studies and hence, this is also upsurging gap. Thus, government ought to invest money in secondary and tertiary sector to get around this trouble. To conclude, it is true that the gap between cities and countryside is inclining at jet speed that can only be curbed by addressing mentioned issues.
Modern days are witnessing an advent of technological era owing to which it can
be said
that we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
facing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
in between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
. This statement holds water in India too, and by providing proper facilities
as well
as amenities to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
can
be filled
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
undoubtedly
, it is technology and advancements in living style that are widening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. I believe, in my nation, this trouble is
also
being faced
at a monumental scale.
Firstly
, education in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
the mark which means students there are
still
deprived of quality education. In-brief, outskirts are unable to compete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
since later areas are
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasising' is British English.
emphasising
on smart classrooms along with study about foreign languages such as English, French and Spanish.
As a result
, by boosting considerable money towards education sector in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
can
be restricted
.

Secondly
, it has been a proven fact that masses residing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
are devoid of ultra-modern medical facilities due to the fact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rush towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
during any emergency.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
in India are running out of basic facilities such as ventilators
as well
as concept of
first
-aid.
Therefore
, it should be the moral responsibility of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to pump more budget in medical sector
especially
around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
and appointment of the best doctors should
be done
.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the last, I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
are unable to provide jobs and business opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
especially
young minds. To be more precise, youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
respectful jobs after their studies and
hence
, this is
also
upsurging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to invest money in secondary and tertiary sector to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
around this trouble.

To conclude
, it is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is inclining at jet speed that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be curbed
by addressing mentioned issues.

IELTS essay in nowadays standards of living gap between cities and villages and what can it reduce this gap

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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