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Diet on whole world, is it good to take a diet

Diet on whole world, is it good to take a diet 9aNb3
Almost 90% of women today want a beautiful figure. That is why we are able to find a diet programme almost everywhere in the country. Most of the women have thought and gone on a diet before either to slim down or just for health problems. A proper diet programme will help you not only to slim down but also to have healthier eating habits. For instance, taking more vegetables and fruits than meat, avoid fried food and carbonated drinks. For a diet programme, people shouldn’t cut themselves from food and water. There are some diet programmes from the doctors that help you to have a healthy heart like the “Three day diet” which we can find on the Internet. This programme allows you to eat fruits and also some meat. This way of dieting will help you to avoid some of the health problems in the future like diabetes or a heart attack. However, some people do not only go on a diet but they avoid eating and go hungry for the whole day. All they have is just either water or juices. Also there a people who buy special diet programmes over the counter like taking pills which are not approved by the health department and they are doing so without consulting a doctor first. They do not follow the basic rules of dieting and this will lead them to some serious health problems like dysfunction of some body parts or, even worse, death. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with going on a diet as long as we follow the correct way of eating and for a good reason.
Almost 90% of women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
want a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
figure.
That is
why we are able to find a diet
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
almost everywhere in the country. Most of the women have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and gone on a diet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
either to slim down or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.

A proper diet
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to slim down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to have healthier eating habits.
For instance
, taking more vegetables and fruits than meat, avoid fried food and carbonated drinks. For a diet
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
shouldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
themselves from food and water. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diet
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
from the doctors that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to have a healthy heart like the “Three day diet” which we can find on the Internet. This
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
you to eat fruits and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
meat. This way of dieting will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to avoid
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems in the future like diabetes or a heart attack.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
go on a diet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they avoid eating and go hungry for the whole day. All they have is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
either water or juices.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
there a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
special diet
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
over the counter like taking pills which are not approved by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
department and
they are doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
without consulting a doctor
first
. They do not follow the basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of dieting and this will lead them to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems like dysfunction of
Did you mean "somebody"?
some body
parts or, even worse, death.

In my opinion, there is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
with going on a diet as long as we follow the correct way of eating and for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason.

IELTS essay Diet on whole world, is it good to take a diet

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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