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In nowadays more people of age 7 to 11 apend time on watching television.

In nowadays more people of age 7 to 11 apend time on watching television. 75Olb
It is true that, In the 21 century more than juveniles from seven to eleven spend a much time on watching magic box and playing a video game on computer. In this essay, I will discuss a issues to raise these problem and certain solution to reduce this problem. To begin with, there are many negative effects of spending too much television by these age group. To elaborate it, 7 _11 years is a crucial period of children after which litter one step into adolescence more than kindles spend a too much time on watching television and playing a video games on super electronic machine they commonly effect on physical and mental growth of babysitters. Moreover, kids exploring a outdoor games and less time on studies. For example, one survey is conducted by the developed countries check the graphic report on viewing hour children spend on magical box. More than 80 thousands adult watching a violence program on television. As a result, toddlers generated a health related disease like as, obesity and eye sight weak. To handle it, there are certain steps to solve this problem. To explain it, firstly, parents should be spend a quality time with infant rather than viewing hour on television. Secondly, both gender is taken responsibility to create a viewing time on children and select a that problem which is good for youth like as education broadcast channel and discovery programme. For instance, one well _ known headline of newspaper more than nations to reduce the major problem of watching television. Nowadays, approximately 75, 000 youngsters is playing a outdoor games. Hence, they are become healthier and control a health disease. In modern era they become a healthy lifestyle. In conclusion, television and video games in moderation, can be good thing to entertainment source. However, I believe that procreatures should set a viewing limit on watching television.
It is true that, In the
Did you mean "21st century"?
21 century
more than juveniles from seven to eleven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
Maybe you should omit the article 'a', leaving only "much".
a much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on watching magic box and playing a video game on computer. In this essay, I will discuss
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a issue" or simply "issues"?
a issues
to raise these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and certain solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
by these age group. To elaborate it, 7 _11 years is a crucial period of children after which litter one step into adolescence more than kindles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and playing a video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on super electronic machine they
commonly
effect on physical and mental growth of babysitters.
Moreover
, kids exploring
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on studies.
For example
, one survey
is conducted
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the graphic report on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewing
hour children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on magical box. More than 80 thousands adult watching a violence program on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
As a result
, toddlers generated a health related disease like as, obesity and
This word is usually spelt together: "eyesight".
eye sight
weak. To handle it, there are certain steps to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it,
firstly
, parents should be
Consider using the past participle "spent"?
spend
a quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with infant
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewing
hour on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
Secondly
, both gender
is taken
responsibility to create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on children and select a that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for youth like as education broadcast channel and discovery
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
.
For instance
, one well _ known headline of newspaper more than nations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. Nowadays, approximately 75, 000 youngsters is playing
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Hence
, they
are become
healthier and control a health disease. In modern era they become a healthy lifestyle.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in moderation, can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing to entertainment source.
However
, I believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
procreatures
should set a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewing
limit on watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
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IELTS essay In nowadays more people of age 7 to 11 apend time on watching television.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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