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In my view, there are a bunch of dollars are need to expansion and develop a railways system, that government need to spend their money on this rather than making a roads.

In my view, there are a bunch of dollars are need to expansion and develop a railways system, that government need to spend their money on this rather than making a roads. jbB0d
This clearly, that railways as an essential mode of transportation that can help community reaching other place more faster. In my view, there are a bunch of dollars are need to expansion and develop a railways system, that government need to spend their money on this rather than making a roads. The reason why railways system are important to expand due the fact it will connect faster an urban area to a rural area. Moreover, to prevent an overpopulated in an urban city. For example, in my city, the development of fast railways have a huge beneficial to a society who working in business or city centre, they can stay in a rural or countryside which is the living cost more cheaper than in urban, but also easy to reach a city centre just by an hour. Consequently, the situation in vibrant city less traffic and less stressful for the society. By this example, it is clear that government need spend their money on this facilities to make an easy access of people who not live in an urban. Furthermore, with an advance train system can reduce an air pollutions and help our environment from a climate change. On the contrary, spending more dollars in roads can increase the traffic and air pollutions. For example, people are still live in one area since the distance of rural area is farther, they need take more hours to reached some place by a car. As the result, they preferred to stay in that area and it leads to an overpopulation. Moreover, overpopulation drives to more traffic and that cause of an air pollutions. Hence, in my opinion, that not a good idea to expand a roads by the fact that can cause a drawbacks impact to a society. To sum up, undoubtedly the cost of expansion and development in railways system need more cash than other form of transportation. However, it have numerous advantages to our society. Compared to development in a road side, that leads to a traffic and air pollutions.
This
clearly
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
as an essential mode of transportation that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
community reaching other place
Use only "faster" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more faster
. In my view, there are a bunch of dollars
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to expansion and develop a
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "railways'" or "railway's"?
railways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to spend their money on this
rather
than making
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a road" or simply "roads"?
a roads
.

The reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to expand due the fact it will connect faster an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to a rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Moreover
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
an overpopulated in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
city.
For example
, in my city, the development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
have a huge beneficial to a society who working in business or city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, they can stay in a rural or countryside which is the living cost
Use only "cheaper" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more cheaper
than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
easy to reach a city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by an hour.
Consequently
, the situation in vibrant city less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and less stressful for the society. By this example, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
spend their money on
Did you mean "these"?
this
facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "easy access".
an easy access
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
.
Furthermore
, with an advance train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutions
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our environment from a climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

On the contrary
, spending more dollars in roads can increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutions
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
since the distance of rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is farther, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
take more hours
Did you mean "to reach"?
to reached
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
place by a car. As the result, they preferred to stay in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and it leads to an overpopulation.
Moreover
, overpopulation drives to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and that cause of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "pollution"?
pollutions
.
Hence
, in my opinion, that not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to expand a roads by the fact that can cause a drawbacks impact to a society.

To sum up,
undoubtedly
the cost of expansion and development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more cash than other form of transportation.
However
, it
Did you mean "has"?
have
numerous advantages to our society. Compared to development in a road side, that leads to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutions
.
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IELTS essay In my view, there are a bunch of dollars are need to expansion and develop a railways system, that government need to spend their money on this rather than making a roads.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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