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In my agree disagree essay

In my agree disagree essay 3adYY
Essay. In today’s developing society journey is improving your thinking skills. People’s mind journey has many useful ways. So you should go abroad travel for rising your speaking skills another language. In the paragraphs below, I will show profitable way of journey. Firstly, if you go to abroad travel you can learn this country’s culture and people. Recently, many tourists will go to America. And they will learn about Efil towel’s history. Therefore, they come back they have got many information about America’s history. That’s why travel is advantage for people. Secondly, during the trip we meet a lot of famous people. So this people can speak about their rank. That’s why, they are very famous. And we learn about their life and we are trying to do something for our future. So we are go to numerous interesting places. This places are improving our speaking skills. In the result we will not go to anywhere for journey in the future. On the other hand, travel tickets and abroad expenses are very expensive. If we will go to abroad travel, we have got a lot of money for expenses. During the travel you will go some entertainment places and buy some gifts for your relations. If you go to study travel you can go. But people go uneducated travel. In the result of this occasion, they lose their benefit. To sum it up, travel abroad is wide your brain. There are profitable ways abroad travel. In my mind each people had to go somewhere for travel improving their critical thinking.
Essay.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s developing society journey is improving your thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People’s
mind journey has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful ways.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
you should go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
for rising your speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
another language. In the paragraphs below, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
profitable way of journey.

Firstly
, if you go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
you can learn this country’s culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists will go to America. And they will learn about
Possible spelling mistake found.
Efil
towel’s history.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much information", "a good deal of information".
many information
about America’s history. That’s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is advantage for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, during the trip we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can speak about their rank. That’s why, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
. And we learn about their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
we are trying to do something for our future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we are
Consider using a past participle here: "gone".
go
to numerous interesting places.
Did you mean "these"?
This
places are improving our speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In the result we will not go to anywhere for journey in the future.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
tickets and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
expenses are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive. If we will go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for expenses. During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
you will go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainment places and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gifts for your relations.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
you go to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
you can go.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go uneducated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. In the result of this occasion, they lose their benefit.

To sum it up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is wide your brain. There are profitable ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. In my mind each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to go somewhere for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
improving their critical thinking.
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IELTS essay In my agree disagree essay

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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