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In morden society, it is now possible to transfer the habitat of ocean creatures from their natural ocean to amusement parks for the entertainment purpose. This development has both benefits and drawbacks but i think the positive aspect ellipses the negative aspect

In morden society, it is now possible to transfer the habitat of ocean creatures from their natural ocean to amusement parks for the entertainment purpose. This development has both benefits and drawbacks but i think the positive aspect ellipses the negative aspect 6KDQ3
In morden society, it is now possible to transfer the habitat of ocean creatures from their natural ocean to amusement parks for the entertainment purpose. This development has both benefits and drawbacks but i think the positive aspect ellipses the negative aspect. It can be said that the habitat changes has some worthy disadvantages. Firstly, it brings the nature away from creatures. All the ocean animals need their habitat because it has all the necessary item for them to survive. While the manmade habitat can not response enough for animals'demand. Secondly, this development affects the ocean species loss their natural instinct. a creature can not keep its own instinct which mean, it's not animal anymore, instead of that, it become more simmilar to the pet. And when it turn back to the ocean, animal not be able to survive in the forthcoming. Despite the aforementioned drawbacks, several benefits do exist and should be take into consideration. Within the population of ocean enviromental, live in the aquarium is better. In amusement park, the enviroment index always reach the quality average. And it also provides enough food for creatures live the healthy life. Secondly, ocean creatures can be protected by human. In the wild habitat outside, there are great number of illegal fishing activity, and it make the amount of ocean creatures decline dramatically. Keeping the speices in the aquarium can help animals risist from decreation of population and also gain the awareness for people who watching them. I believe that the habitat changes for ocean creatures bring both plus points and minus points, but the strength outweighs the weakness because the development of technology nowaday, human is trying to create the enviroment very similar to the natural habitat outside for preserving the indanger animals both on land or under water.
In
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morden
society, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
possible to transfer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habitat
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
from their natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
to amusement parks for the entertainment purpose. This development has both benefits and drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect ellipses the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect.

It can
be said
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habitat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
worthy disadvantages.
Firstly
, it brings the nature away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
. All the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
need their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habitat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has all the necessary item for them to survive.

While the
Possible spelling mistake found.
manmade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habitat
can not
Did you mean "respond"?
response
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for animals'demand.
Secondly
, this development affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
species loss their natural instinct.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creature
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
instinct which mean, it's not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
anymore,
instead
of that, it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
simmilar
to the pet. And when it
Did you mean "turns"?
turn
back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
not be able to survive in the forthcoming.

Despite the aforementioned drawbacks, several benefits do exist and should be
Did you mean "taken"?
take
into consideration. Within the population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviromental
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the aquarium is better. In amusement park, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
index always reach the quality average. And it
also
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
food for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the healthy life.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
can
be protected
by human. In the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habitat
outside, there are great number of illegal fishing activity, and it
Did you mean "makes"?
make
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
decline
dramatically
. Keeping the
Possible spelling mistake found.
speices
in the aquarium can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
Possible spelling mistake found.
risist
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
decreation
of population and
also
gain the awareness for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who watching them.

I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habitat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
bring both plus points and minus points,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the strength outweighs the weakness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the development of technology
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaday
, human is trying to create the
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
similar to the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habitat
outside for preserving the
Possible spelling mistake found.
indanger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
both on land or under water.
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IELTS essay In morden society, it is now possible to transfer the habitat of ocean creatures from their natural ocean to amusement parks for the entertainment purpose. This development has both benefits and drawbacks but i think the positive aspect ellipses the negative aspect

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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