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In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occured? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home? v.2

In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occured? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home? v. 2
Families gathering became less popular nowadays due to various reasons. The causes include the change of the modern days. In my opinion parents should take action to change this situation. In this easement, I will discuss the reasons of this phenomena and how to prevent it. To begin, the recent modifications of our days reduced the quality moments that spent with the love ones. For instance, the school hours have been increased in most countries. Children and teens prefer the company of their peers because they used to. Due to the fact that current life is more convenient than the past, young individuals have less responsibilities at home. Moreover, the high coast of living requires a long working day; that why parents are absent from their kids' life during the week. To encourage younger people to be involved at home, parents need to work harder to be close to them. For example, creating activities for children that attract their attention is more effective than forcing them to stay home. In addition, parents can ask their kids for suggestions for their time. To conclude, a strong relationship between the family members is the point of sharing more time together. In my view, parents must teach their children about respecting family time from an early age. If a person raised to participate in such events with love, it is becomes a part of their life when they grow up.
Families gathering became less popular nowadays due to various reasons. The causes include the
change
of the modern days. In my opinion
parents
should take action to
change
this situation. In this easement, I will discuss the reasons of
this
phenomena and how to
prevent
it.

To
begin
, the recent modifications of our days
reduced
the quality moments that spent with the
love ones
.
For instance
, the school hours have
been increased
in most countries. Children and teens prefer the
company
of their peers
because
they
used
to. Due to the fact that
current
life is more convenient than the past, young individuals have
less
responsibilities at home.
Moreover
, the high coast of living requires a long working day; that why
parents
are absent from their kids' life during the week.

To encourage younger
people
to
be involved
at home,
parents
need to work harder to be close to them.
For example
, creating activities for children that attract their attention is more effective than forcing them to stay home.
In addition
,
parents
can ask their kids for suggestions for their time.

To conclude
, a strong relationship between the family members is the point of sharing more time together. In my view,
parents
must
teach their children about respecting family time from an early age. If a person raised to participate in such
events
with
love
, it is becomes a part of their life when they grow up.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occured? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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