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In modern society, some people argue that schools become unnecessary as children can study at home via the Internet. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

In modern society, some people argue that schools become unnecessary as children can study at home via the Internet. v. 1
The rapid progression of the Internet has paved the way for the growing popularity of distance learning. People are now speculating on the possibility of the Internet taking the place of a traditional school. In my opinion, given the continued advance in technology, Internet-based learning can serve as an alternative to traditional class-based learning. Online education has a large number of advantages. It allows students to set their own study time. Unlike traditional learning, online courses offer children greater flexibility and enable them to create a timetable in line with their needs and characteristics. Students can also save tuition fees, because a virtual school normally charges students much less than a conventional school does. It is particularly a great option for those students with physical handicaps, who have great difficulties in commuting to school campus. For instance, for those who live far away from the school, online education is remarkably favourable. It can be expected that the Internet is very likely to replace a physical school as an education provider in the near future if its drawbacks are removed. The first drawback of the virtual schools is lack of human contact, as opposed to a noted merit of traditional teacher-led education, providing students with ongoing daily interactions with teachers. This weakness can be solved by taking advantage of bandwidth network technologies. The interaction between students can be guaranteed when one can contact with another—whenever and wherever he or she likes—via email, post comments on message boards and chat rooms, or even video conference for communication. Educators are also concerned that online learning cannot make all skills and knowledge transferable. For example, some courses require a high proportion of hands-on practice, which is beyond the capacity of online training. This problem can be nevertheless addressed by introducing multimedia as a teaching aid. By using audio and video, students can sample different learning styles and acquire both general and specialised knowledge of a subject. As suggested above, there are plenty of benefits of online learning, including flexibility, cost- saving and convenience. Although it has two problems, lack of interaction and failing to provide a wide range of courses, both can be overcome as technology advances.
The rapid progression of the Internet has paved the way for the growing popularity of distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
speculating on the possibility of the Internet taking the place of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the continued advance in technology, Internet-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
can serve as an alternative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
-based learning.

Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
advantages. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to set their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
study time. Unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
courses offer children greater flexibility and enable them to create a timetable in line with their needs and characteristics.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can
also
save tuition fees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
normally
charges
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
much less than a conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
does. It is
particularly
a great option for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with physical handicaps, who have great difficulties in commuting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
campus.
For instance
, for those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
remarkably
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that the Internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely to replace a physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provider in the near future if its drawbacks
are removed
.

The
first
drawback of the virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is lack of human contact, as opposed to a noted merit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
teacher-led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with ongoing daily interactions with teachers. This weakness can
be solved
by taking advantage of bandwidth network technologies. The interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
be guaranteed
when one can contact with another—whenever and wherever he or she likes—via email, post comments on message boards and chat rooms, or even video conference for communication. Educators are
also
concerned that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge transferable.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses require a high proportion of hands-on practice, which is beyond the capacity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
training. This problem can be
nevertheless
addressed by introducing multimedia as a teaching aid. By using audio and video,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can sample
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
styles and acquire both general and
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
knowledge of a subject.

As suggested above, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, including flexibility, cost- saving and convenience. Although it has two problems, lack of interaction and failing to provide a wide range of courses, both can
be overcome
as technology advances.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay In modern society, some people argue that schools become unnecessary as children can study at home via the Internet. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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