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In modern life, it is no ne essary to use animals as food on in order products like clothing and medicine. To what extend do your agree of disagree?

In modern life, it is no ne essary to use animals as food on in order products like clothing and medicine. 0M3Bq
A lonq with technology adtancinq ever more rapidly our contemporary world has the technology that is able to provide substitudes for whatever we can get from animals Hence, some people say that animals should no longer be used for food or in order products like clothing and medicine However, in my opion is heutral In terms of diet, it is impossible for human beings to completely cease eating animal meal altogether. It we consider the dietary facts, a human body requires a variety of nutrients among which some special nutrients such as vitamins and tats, are commonly found in animal meats The imbalance of nutrient will lead to health problems. On the orther hand, some meat like beef and pork has a long history in human diet and has become an important part culture in many regions. Secondly in some countries which have extrem coldness season, locals have to use leather on fun! to make coats to keep warm. Instead of using animal products, we can change to synthetic materials to protect endangerd Animals and environment. Similarity, in the past hunters tended to use some part of animal bodies to make some decorations to show their achiment of hunting! It is still a traditional of some neations where! people used to live on huntina Therefore persuading to give up their ancestor customs which irrational and unacceptable in civilised world also a way to protect endangered animals. Finally some arguments maintain that it is necessary to use Animals for medicine experiments such as clinical trials. Because the structure of some animals and human are similar. Although this action has not been completely banned In my view it is really necessary to do before people used. To sum up everything that I've started so fan it seems to be unredlistics to completely stop using Animals for food or medicine. On the other hand we can also protect animals by using artifical materials instead of some port of animal bodies.
A
Possible spelling mistake found.
lonq
with technology
Possible spelling mistake found.
adtancinq
ever more
rapidly
our contemporary world has the technology
that is
able to provide
Possible spelling mistake found.
substitudes
for whatever we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should no longer be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for food or in order products like clothing and medicine
However
, in my
Possible spelling mistake found.
opion
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
heutral


In terms of diet, it is impossible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings to completely cease eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
meal altogether. It we consider the dietary facts, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
body requires a variety of nutrients among which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special nutrients such as vitamins and tats, are
commonly
found in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
meats The imbalance of nutrient will lead to health problems. On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
orther
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
meat like beef and pork has a long history in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
diet and has become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part culture in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regions.

Secondly
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries which have
Possible spelling mistake found.
extrem
coldness season, locals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
leather on fun!
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
coats to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
warm.
Instead
of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
products, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to synthetic materials to protect
Possible spelling mistake found.
endangerd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
and environment. Similarity, in the past hunters tended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
bodies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
decorations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
achiment
of hunting! It is
still
The phrase 'a traditional of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a traditional of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
neations
where!
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
huntina
Therefore
persuading
Did you mean "giving"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'persuade' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to give
up their ancestor customs which irrational and unacceptable in
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilised' is British English.
civilised
world
also
a way to protect endangered animals.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments maintain that it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
for medicine experiments such as clinical trials.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the structure of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
are similar. Although this action has not been completely banned In my view it is
really
necessary to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

To sum up everything that I've
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
fan it seems to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
unredlistics
to completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
for food or medicine.
On the other hand
we can
also
protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by using
Possible spelling mistake found.
artifical
materials
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
port of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
bodies.
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IELTS essay In modern life, it is no ne essary to use animals as food on in order products like clothing and medicine.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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