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Some people think that government should spend more money on sports facilities for ordinary people discuss both the views and give your own opinion

Some people think that government should spend more money on sports facilities for ordinary people discuss both the views and give your own opinion ELK5x
In conclusion although there are differences in people's opinion in regard to sports facilities I strongly believe that government should spend equal amount of money on top athletes and for ordinary people To commence with sports person represent our country on various platforms due to this they do more practice and enhance their fitness level as a result they become champions in various platforms such as Olympic cricket and many other sports for Japan USA and Australia win more medal as compared to other countries because of spending on high rated athletes despite of that benefit after that athlete youth cannot become top athletes this leads to significant loss to that country On the other hand in present time more and more people attract with sports due to Fame in TV and newspaper in addition to these people want to develop their skills and also choose as a career path because of him and recognition for example government should organise sports event in different states and give proper training to them as a result they also represent our country for other people should contribute money in the form of text that they have right to utilise that facilities In conclusion although there are differences in people's opinion in regard to sports facilities I strongly believe that government should spend equal amount of money on top athletes and for ordinary people
In conclusion
although there are differences in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's opinion in regard to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities I
strongly
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend equal amount of money on top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
and for ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


To commence with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person represent our country on various platforms due to this they do more practice and enhance their fitness level
as a result
they become champions in various platforms such as Olympic cricket and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for Japan USA and Australia win more medal as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of spending on high rated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
that benefit after that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
youth cannot become top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
this leads to significant loss to that country

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand in present time more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attract with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
due to Fame in TV and newspaper
in addition
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
also
choose as a career path
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of him and recognition
for example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
states and give proper training to them
as a result
they
also
represent our country for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should contribute money in the form of text that they have right to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
that facilities

In conclusion
although there are differences in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's opinion in regard to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities I
strongly
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend equal amount of money on top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
and for ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
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IELTS essay Some people think that government should spend more money on sports facilities for ordinary people discuss both the views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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