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In May countries the widespread use of internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of travelling to work or college do the advantages outweigh disadvantages

In May countries the widespread use of internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of travelling to work or college do the advantages outweigh disadvantages g3Yl
Internet is the biggest worldwide communication network of computer in some nations the all round the use of social media has given and visual more independence to work or education at house rather than of travelling to work or school although in my analogy that its advantages are overlapping its disadvantage which I explained in further paragraph. Firstly doing work from house constant of travelling to work or college provide a safe environment for and which are due to if they work from home people will not to travel or college as a result reduce the traffic congestion as well as decline the pollution for example owning to in lockdown we can see everyone doing work or study at home as a result reduce our air-pollution however doing work or study from home we can face the many advantages like lack of communication skill due to we cannot do face-to-face conversation with team members and school teachers.
Internet is the biggest worldwide communication network of computer in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations the all round the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of social media has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
and visual more independence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or education at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rather
than of travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or school although in my analogy that its advantages are overlapping its disadvantage which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in
further
paragraph.
Firstly
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
constant of travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or college provide a safe environment for and which are due to if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will not to travel or college
as a result
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic congestion
as well
as decline the pollution
for example
owning to in lockdown we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
everyone doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or study at home
as a result
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our air-pollution
however
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or study from home we can face the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages like lack of communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
due to we cannot do face-to-face conversation with team members and school teachers.
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IELTS essay In May countries the widespread use of internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of travelling to work or college do the advantages outweigh disadvantages

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
157 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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