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In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there.

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. Om3k
In many parts of the world, there has been a stimulating discussion about whether or not to build new homes in the countryside. Some people argue that building new houses in the countryside is less important than the protection of these zones. In my opinion, the countryside is the most important place for any civilization because it is where the majority of food grows and animals are feed in order to supply food to the cities. Developing suburbs in those areas that are being used for an agricultural purpose might have egregious consequences for the cities. Food has been harvested in these places for over ten years and farmers know the number of crops that they will produce at the end of the season. Building new homes in these areas could create a huge issue to farmers as they may be relocated to an unknown zone. Therefore, they will have to learn the weather, soil and pests conditions, and as a consequence, they might harvest a reduce amount of crops in comparison to the previous location, which will lead to an increase in the market price. To illustrate, in 2014 it was reported by The Daily Mail in Geelong, Australia that the release of farmland with building purposes lead to skyrocketed the rice price as the production was reduced by more than fifty percent. This forced Australians to buy rice from overseas at higher prices that they used to buy before the new development. Farm animals will be relocated to new lands if the space available is assigned to new developments. Animals living in the countryside have a certain type of grass or food in their diet, and these nutrients might not be available in the new location. Thus, this could lead to several human diseases and to an increase in the veterinarian expenses to look after the health of the farm animals. For example, a study made by The University of California showed that in San Diego the relocation of a cattle creates a bacteria in the milk production due to a new type of grass. Which caused the waste of more than one million liters of milk and the hospitalization of several people. To conclude, In my point of view, the countryside is vital for the human being and using this space with the purpose of new living spaces might create consequences that are going to cost more than finding new locations for these properties to be built. Crops might be reduced the production in numbers and animals can be acquired sickness that might affect the inhabitants of the area.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world, there has been a stimulating discussion about
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
homes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than the protection of these zones. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place for any civilization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is where the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
grows and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are feed
in order to supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to the cities.

Developing suburbs in those areas that are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for an agricultural purpose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have egregious consequences for the cities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
has
been harvested
in these places for over ten years and farmers know the number of crops that they will produce at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the season. Building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
homes in these areas could create a huge issue to farmers as they may
be relocated
to an unknown zone.
Therefore
, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn the weather, soil and pests conditions, and as a consequence, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
harvest a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
amount of crops
in comparison
to the previous location, which will lead to an increase in the market price. To illustrate, in 2014 it
was reported
by The Daily Mail in Geelong, Australia that the release of farmland with building purposes lead to skyrocketed the rice price as the production was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by more than fifty percent. This forced Australians to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
rice from overseas at higher prices that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
development.

Farm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
will
be relocated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lands if the space available
is assigned
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
developments.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
have a certain type of grass or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in their diet, and these nutrients
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be available in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
location.
Thus
, this could lead to several human diseases and to an increase in the veterinarian expenses to look after the health of the farm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For example
, a study made by The University of California
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that in San Diego the relocation of
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "cattle".
a cattle
creates
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a bacterium" or simply "bacteria"?
a bacteria
in the milk production due to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
type of grass. Which caused the waste of more than one million liters of milk and the hospitalization of several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, In my point of view, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is vital for the human being and using this space with the purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
living spaces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
create consequences that are going to cost more than finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
locations for these properties to
be built
. Crops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the production in numbers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can
be acquired
sickness that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
affect the inhabitants of the area.
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IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
432 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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