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In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v.33

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 33
In some nations, parents have a tendency to put pressure on their children, which force them to spend excessive hours on studying and to ignore leisure activities. This trend exerts both beneficial and damaging affects children as well as the whole society. On the one hand, the focus on education benefits for younger generations as well as the community they live in. It is obvious that the more time spent on acquiring new knowledge, the higher results students can obtain. Consequently, such excellent academic achievements will help children stand a good opportunity to get promising career prospects since well-known corporations are likely to prioritize applicants with outstanding performances at school. As a result, without unemployment, the government would have saved a huge number of national budget for investments in public infrastructures or social farewell. On the other hand, there are some negative impacts of studying too much for children that should be taken into consideration. Firstly, they would probably suffer from some psychological problems if they were forced to study all the time. Obviously, students can easily lose a sense of satisfaction when they have to learn much abstract knowledge. Instead of being excited, they usually feel stressed and depressed with much information. Furthermore, students need to be given more opportunities to develop practical skills such as communication skills because having only knowledge cannot prepare students for their future. All in all, study and life should be focused equally in order to ensure the well-rounded developments of children. It is recommended that students should devote time to beneficial activities such as sports which help them not only relax after stressful studying hours but also enhance physical fitness.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations, parents have a tendency to put pressure on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which force them to spend excessive hours on studying and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
leisure activities. This trend exerts both beneficial and damaging affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as well
as the whole society.

On the one hand, the focus on education benefits for younger generations
as well
as the community they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. It is obvious that the more time spent on acquiring new knowledge, the higher results
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can obtain.
Consequently
, such excellent academic achievements will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
stand a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promising career prospects since well-known corporations are likely to prioritize applicants with outstanding performances at school.
As a result
, without unemployment, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would have saved a huge number of national budget for investments in public infrastructures or social farewell.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of studying too much for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that should
be taken
into consideration.
Firstly
, they would
probably
suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
psychological problems if they
were forced
to study all the time.
Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
easily
lose a sense of satisfaction when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn much abstract knowledge.
Instead
of
being excited
, they
usually
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and depressed with much information.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more opportunities to develop practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
knowledge cannot prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their future.

All in all, study and life should
be focused
equally
in order to ensure the well-rounded developments of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It
is recommended
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should devote time to beneficial activities such as sports which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
relax after stressful studying hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enhance physical fitness.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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