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In many places new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. some people believe that it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. what your opinion about this? v.27

In many places new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. some people believe that it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. what your opinion about this? v. 27
Nowadays, it has been observed that a certain number of places new homes are required, but the open space is available for building them is outside the metro cities. A lion's share of masses ponders that it is must to protect the suburb instead of the conurbation. I agree with the central idea of statement and the following paragraph would highlight my personal perspectives along with apt example. I see eye to eye with the idea and there are a number of aspects in favour of my point of view. The first compelling reason is that in the past few decades the population is dramatically increased and it is need of the today to develop the countryside to accommodate the people of the country. In other words, the house is one of the basic necessities of the human being and authorities should develop the outer area of the city to accommodate them and it also reduce the over crowd of street inside the cities. Second compelling reason is the traffic snarl. In other words, congestion on the road of cities is also increased along with population gradually which effect on the quality of air and it leads to spread the rampant diseases at the confined place. As a result cities has become overcrowded. For instance, as per the recent news, many abroad countries, encouraging their citizens to move on suburb and it might be helpful to reduce the count of vehicle plying on the city road as a result congestion is also reduced. Nevertheless, those people reckon that it is important to protect the open space in the vicinity of the city, they have owned their views and I respect them. They believe that conurbation would be lead to scarcity of food and other daily necessities of life and I agree with them, but concurrently I emphasize that in this era, there are no enough open spaces are the left to accommodate the people, hence it is must to develop the countryside at the moment and that only the place which is not suitable for grow the crops. Eventually, I would like to infer that to develop the countryside is the need of the hour due to not available much open places in the cities, but it should be developed only that place which is not suitable for growing the crops.
Nowadays, it has
been observed
that a certain number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
new homes
are required
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
space is available for building them is outside the metro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. A lion's share of masses ponders that it is
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
protect the suburb
instead
of the conurbation. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the central
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of statement and the following paragraph would highlight my personal perspectives along with apt example.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
eye to eye with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and there are a number of aspects in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my point of view. The
first
compelling reason is that in the past few decades the population is
dramatically
increased and it
is need
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
the countryside to accommodate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the country.
In other words
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is one of the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of the human being and authorities should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
the outer area of the city to accommodate them and it
also
Did you mean "reduces"?
reduce
the over crowd of street inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Second compelling reason is the traffic snarl.
In other words
, congestion on the road of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
also
increased along with population
gradually
which effect on the quality of air and it leads to spread the rampant diseases at the confined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has become overcrowded.
For instance
, as per the recent news,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
abroad countries, encouraging their citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on suburb and it might be helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the count of vehicle plying on the city road
as a result
congestion is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

Nevertheless
, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reckon that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
space in the vicinity of the city, they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
their views and I respect them. They believe that conurbation would be lead to scarcity of food and other daily necessities of life and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
concurrently
I emphasize that in this era, there are no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
spaces are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to accommodate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
hence
it is
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
the countryside at the moment and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
which is not suitable for grow the crops.

Eventually
, I would like to infer that to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
the countryside is the need of the hour due to not available much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should
be developed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
which is not suitable for growing the crops.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay In many places new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. some people believe that it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. what your opinion about this? v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
391 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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