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In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v.1

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 1
Nowadays, many hold the view that because of the land shortage in metropolises, more residential buildings should be constructed in the countryside. Others insist that protecting the countryside from excessive exploitation is even more important. In this essay, I will Nowadays, many hold the view that because of the land shortage in metropolises, more residential buildings should be constructed in the countryside. Others insist that protecting the countryside from excessive exploitation is even more important. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the debate before arriving at a conclusion. To begin with, there is no doubt that due to the growth of city population and the migration of rural people into urban areas, metropolises such as Beijing and Shanghai are facing the situation of residential land scarcity. In addition, the high demand for residential buildings somehow contributes to the rise of housing price in big cities. Therefore, developing the countryside seems to be urgent. Not only can it provide people with more affordable housing, but the rural area can also benefit from the development of better infrastructure. On the other hand, the importance of maintaining farmland / agricultural land in the countryside cannot be neglected. If excessive amount of arable land is used for residential purposes, there will be a severely negative impact on food production and supply. Moreover, farmers could be deprived of the land they live upon and this may cause social instability in the long run. To summarize, there is no doubt that there is indeed an urgent need for building homes in the countryside. At the same time, excessive development will have a detrimental influence upon the entire human race. In the final analysis, to tackle the problem of housing shortage governments should develop the countryside in a responsible way and ensure that adequate amount of land is reserved for farming.
Nowadays,
Possible agreement error. The noun hold seems to be countable; consider using: "many holds".
many hold
the view that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
shortage in metropolises, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be constructed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. Others insist that protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excessive
exploitation is even more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In this essay, I will Nowadays,
Possible agreement error. The noun hold seems to be countable; consider using: "many holds".
many hold
the view that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
shortage in metropolises, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be constructed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. Others insist that protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excessive
exploitation is even more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the debate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving at a conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is no doubt that due to the growth of city population and the migration of rural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
into urban areas, metropolises such as Beijing and Shanghai are facing the situation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
scarcity.
In addition
, the high demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
somehow contributes to the rise of housing price in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
Therefore
, developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
seems to be urgent. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can it provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with more affordable housing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the rural area can
also
benefit from the development of better infrastructure.

On the other hand
, the importance of maintaining farmland / agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
cannot
be neglected
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excessive
amount of arable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
purposes, there will be a
severely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on food production and supply.
Moreover
, farmers could
be deprived
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
upon and this may cause social instability in the long run.

To summarize
, there is no doubt that there is
indeed
an urgent need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
homes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. At the same time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excessive
development will have a detrimental influence upon the entire human race. In the final analysis, to tackle the problem of housing shortage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
Consider replacing "in a responsible way" with the adverb for "responsible"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a responsible way
and ensure that adequate amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
is reserved
for farming.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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