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Government argue that the population of children should control through taxes. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Government argue that the population of children should control through taxes. v. 1
Since children are the promise of the morrow, raising them with the good guidelines is quite important. While some individuals believe that children should be taught about the spirit of competition, I believe minors who learn about other social values such as co-operation become a more successful person because being a social animal, human being always needs help and support from other people to excel in life. On the one hand, people who hold the view that sense of competition is vital to survive in this globalised world, do so, because according to their opinion, population is on the rise and every child needs to be prepared forehead to face adulthood competition for securing a lucrative job. For instance, in my country, India, a student needs to compete with millions of other students to secure good government job. However, by competition one can only able to get some good position or job, long term survival at any position requires many other social skills. On the other hand, it must be agreed that sense of co-operation is mandatory for long term survival at any position. For example, if a software project manager does not know how to work in a team, he would never be able to complete any project in a given time period. Moreover, human beings require help from other people in case medical emergency or financial crisis. if one has sound social links with other masses, one would be able manage one's toughest time. In conclusion, according to my perspective, although for a child being a competitive person is necessary to attain a good position in the future, learning about social values and co-operation with other human beings is more significant to attain long term success and to survive in difficult times.
Since children are the promise of the morrow, raising them with the
good
guidelines is quite
important
. While
some
individuals believe that children should
be taught
about the spirit of
competition
, I believe minors who learn about
other
social
values such as co-operation become a more successful person
because
being a
social
animal, human being always needs
help
and support from
other
people
to excel in life.

On the one hand,
people
who hold the view that sense of
competition
is vital to survive in this
globalised
world, do
so
,
because
according to their opinion, population is on the rise and every child needs to
be prepared
forehead to face adulthood
competition
for securing a lucrative job.
For instance
, in my country, India, a student needs to compete with millions of
other
students to secure
good
government
job.
However
, by
competition
one can
only
able to
get
some
good
position
or job, long term survival at any
position
requires
many
other
social
skills
.

On the
other
hand, it
must
be
agreed
that sense of co-operation is mandatory for long term survival at any
position
.
For example
, if a software project manager does not know how to work in a team, he would never be able to complete any project in a
given
time period.
Moreover
, human beings require
help
from
other
people
in case medical emergency or financial crisis.
if
one has sound
social
links with
other
masses, one would be
able manage
one's toughest time.

In conclusion
, according to my perspective, although for a child being a competitive person is necessary to attain a
good
position
in the future, learning about
social
values and co-operation with
other
human beings is more significant to attain long term success and to survive in difficult times.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Government argue that the population of children should control through taxes. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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