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companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree?

companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. MBjoQ
Currently, the discourse regarding gender in high-level positions in companies is increasingly topical. While some people think that women should be given a specific portion in top-level leaders in corporations, I side with those who believe that it is not necessary to give this privilege. On the other hand, the only benefit that companies provide a certain percentage for women to be one of the leaders is to support women to realize this policy. In other words, this policy not only opens the opportunity for females to get a high position in their career path but also it should help them to get this chance easily. It is because there is general acknowledgement that there is a specific leader position in companies that needs women's sense. To illustrate, it is becoming increasingly common that the leader of the human resources division is filled by a woman since they are believed to care more than man to handle workforce management. On the other hand, there are a few reasons that companies should consider if they allow a certain portion for women in high-level positions. Take the first reason, the allocation is believed to make a limitation for the man to be a leader. It is unfair and companies potentially lose the good leader for their companies. It is argued that women should have a specific position because of their natural skill. However, I think men could learn that skill from training that companies provide for their employees. In conclusion, women should be one of the leaders in companies. However, I am firmly convinced that it is not necessary to make specific allocation to them. It is better if they be a leader with their career path.
Currently
, the discourse regarding gender in high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is
increasingly
topical. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
portion in top-level
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leaders
in corporations, I side with those who believe that it is not necessary to give this privilege.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
provide a certain percentage for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to be one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
is to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to realize this policy.
In other words
, this policy not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
opens the opportunity for females to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in their career path
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this chance
easily
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is general
Possible spelling mistake. 'acknowledgement' is British English.
acknowledgement
that there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that needs women's sense. To illustrate, it is becoming
increasingly
common that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
of the human resources division
is filled
by a woman since they
are believed
to care more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to handle workforce management.

On the other hand
, there are a few reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should consider if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
a certain portion for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
. Take the
first
reason, the allocation
is believed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a limitation for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
. It is unfair and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
potentially
lose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their natural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
could learn that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
from training that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
provide for their employees.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should be one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
However
, I am
firmly
convinced that it is not necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
allocation to them. It is better if they be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
with their career path.
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IELTS essay companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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