Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many part of the world, people have tendency to get married late. Do the advantage of this trend for overweight the disvantages?

In many part of the world, people have tendency to get married late. Do the advantage of this trend for overweight the disvantages? 2RO7b
Marriage is one of the most important human events. People in many places of the world have a habit of marrying later than they should. This essay will analyze the pros and cons of this tendency in depth. To begin with, there are several benefits that we may enjoy from this trend. First of all, when people get married late, they can have more time to focus on their studies or their careers. For instance, they have more opportunities to equip themselves with sufficient knowledge and skills. It will help them land a decent job with high income. In other words, they have a stable career and financial security. Another major merit is that it will be a great time for everyone to pursue a career or explore the world with many adventures and accumulate more life experience. Thanks to that people can choose their best life partner. On the other hand, there are some obvious disadvantages that would arise. First, women may face health risks when they give birth to children late. Those children who were born by the 30-to-40-year-old parents may not be more intelligent than ones born earlier. Based on scientific that, their brains will not function quickly and cannot catch up with their friends. Furthermore, teenagers whose moms and dads are getting old will have to look after themselves at an early age. Hence, experts advise that the first child should be born before the age of 30. Because it will bring the best immune system for babies, which also benefits the future of a country. Some people also express their concern about the large generation gap. It will be difficult for parents to understand their children. In addition, parents cannot help their children when they need it. The last problem to take into account is the old population. This will cause a huge financial burden on the family when there are few members who can afford to work. In conclusion, there are surely some merits brought by this tendency. Nonetheless, it seems that its negative side far outweighs its merit this trend should not be encouraged.
Marriage is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places of the world have a habit of marrying later than they should. This essay will analyze the pros and cons of this tendency in depth.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several benefits that we may enjoy from this trend.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married late, they can have more time to focus on their studies or their careers.
For instance
, they have more opportunities to equip themselves with sufficient knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them land a decent job with high income.
In other words
, they have a stable career and financial security. Another major merit is that it will be a great time for everyone to pursue a career or explore the world with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adventures and accumulate more life experience. Thanks to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose their best life partner.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious disadvantages that would arise.
First
, women may face health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
when they give birth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
late. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
were born
by the 30-to-40-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
parents may not be more intelligent than ones born earlier. Based on scientific that, their brains will not function
quickly
and cannot catch up with their friends.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
whose moms and dads are getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look after themselves at an early age.
Hence
, experts advise that the
first
child should
be born
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the age of 30.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it will bring the best immune system for babies, which
also
benefits the future of a country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
express their concern about the large generation gap. It will be difficult for parents to understand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In addition
, parents cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they need it. The last problem to take into account is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
population. This will cause a huge financial burden on the family when there are few members who can afford to work.

In conclusion
, there are
surely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits brought by this tendency. Nonetheless, it seems that its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side far outweighs its merit this trend should not
be encouraged
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In many part of the world, people have tendency to get married late. Do the advantage of this trend for overweight the disvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    participating in team sports helps to develop good character
    Nowadays, we can notice the growing number of sports kinds and few of them became international ones like football and basketball. Consequently, the involvement of athletes is being more and more wide and significant so that can gives us a proof about the positive effect of the sports. The participa...
  • 5band
    Men are naturally more competitive than women
    Ability of an individual has continued to generate a lot of controversies as it is often argued that competitiveness is based on gender. I totally disagree with this, as it will be analysed in this essay. Either the male or female may be aspiring to achieve more if they have inherent genes as this m...
  • 6band
    more and more people want to buy clothes
    These days, more and more people want to purchase clothes, cars and other products from famous brands. In my perspective, the reasons behind this trend will be outlined in the following essay, and it could bring both positive and negative consequences. People’s belief on personal possessions reflec...
  • 6band
    more and more people want to buy clothes, car and other products from well-known brands.
    These days, the products such as clothes and cars of famous brands are gradually being considered the first choice by people. In my perspective, The reasons behind this trend will be outlined in the following essay and, it could bring both positive and adverse consequences. People’s beliefs on pers...
  • 5band
    Today I will share with everyone about my weekend
    My name is Ly and I am a freshman at BKACAD academy. Today I will share with everyone about my weekend. I study according to the academy's schedule so I have two days off, Saturday and Sunday. Today is Saturday, the first day off, I wake up at 6 am, exercise and prepare breakfast for myself. The wea...
  • 5band
    People are naturally polite
    Polite is a good manner and known to obey social standards in communication. People are not natural polite, but have to learn and improve. Firstly, the family has effected on different ways of people polite. They always advise about the manner and right things or bad to avoid when we still child. Fa...





Get more results for topic:
  • In many part of the world, people have tendency to get married late. Do the advantage of this trend for overweight the disvantages?