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more and more people want to buy clothes

more and more people want to buy clothes 3bO2b
These days, more and more people want to purchase clothes, cars and other products from famous brands. In my perspective, the reasons behind this trend will be outlined in the following essay, and it could bring both positive and negative consequences. People’s belief on personal possessions reflecting social status, wealthy or poor. Nowadays, people often choose to buy clothes at famous brands to express their own personality and wealth. Of course, well-known brands are not cheap. For instance, a famous model usually unboxing many words well-known brands such as Chanel, Gucci, Hermes, …. she shows us it’s her hobbies and she maybe to earn money from anything own. As well as some people purchase diamonds to show up their money, wealth and social status. More people purchasing goods from famed brands can bring both benefits and drawbacks to the business world. On the one hand, people’s shopping not only brings great economic for business but also help them advertise products. Meanwhile, brand owners can show themselves in front of everyone. For example, Chanel appears collection of handbags that made millions dollars worldwide and more superstars PR. On the other hand, this trend also brings many drawbacks as competition between domestic and foreign brands, fake products, …. for instance, Vinfat car company which is the first in Vietnam but has to competitive from cheap cars from china. Behind the trend there are many reasons as social status, wealthy, hobby and so in my opinion more people buy goods from famous brands can bring both merits and drawbacks for development.
These days, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
clothes, cars and other products from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
. In my perspective, the reasons behind this trend will
be outlined
in the following essay, and it could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
’s belief on personal possessions reflecting social status, wealthy or poor. Nowadays,
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people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
clothes at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
to express their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personality and wealth.
Of course
, well-known
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brands
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
.
For instance
, a
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famous
model
usually
unboxing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
words well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
such as Chanel, Gucci, Hermes, ….
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us it’s her
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hobbies and
she maybe to earn money from anything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
As well
as
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some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
diamonds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
up their money, wealth and social status.

More
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people
purchasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from famed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
both benefits and drawbacks to the business world. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
shopping not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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brings
great economic for business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them advertise products. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
owners can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
themselves in front of everyone.
For example
, Chanel appears collection of handbags that made millions dollars worldwide and more superstars PR.
On the other hand
, this trend
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks as competition between domestic and foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
, fake products, ….
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinfat
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which is the
first
in Vietnam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
competitive from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
cars from
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
.

Behind the trend there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons as social status, wealthy, hobby and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in my opinion more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
both merits and drawbacks for development.
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IELTS essay more and more people want to buy clothes

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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