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participating in team sports helps to develop good character

participating in team sports helps to develop good character QR0ew
Nowadays, we can notice the growing number of sports kinds and few of them became international ones like football and basketball. Consequently, the involvement of athletes is being more and more wide and significant so that can gives us a proof about the positive effect of the sports. The participation in team sports makes from you a patient and friendly person. At first, being an athlete in a team sport makes you very patient. For example, football, like any other sports, is a place where a player can either be a winner or a loser in the match; thus, the athlete have to be a very relaxed and patient to hold out ad moments or some fatigue during the game. At second, involving in a team sport emphasize your union soul. Unfortunately, when you become a player either football or tennis player you will be a friendly person because of the huge number of the team players so we can go out together and in the match you win or you lose together. All of these, can makes you more kind and amiable. In conclusion, sports are the best place to build a good personality. So lets encourage people participating in sports teams.
Nowadays, we can notice the growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
kinds and few of them became international ones like football and basketball.
Consequently
, the involvement of athletes is being more and more wide and significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that can gives us a proof about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. The participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
from you a patient and friendly person.

At
first
, being an athlete in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
patient.
For example
, football, like any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, is a place where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
can either be a winner or a loser in the match;
thus
, the athlete
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
relaxed and patient to hold out ad moments or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fatigue during the game.

At second, involving in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
emphasize your union soul. Unfortunately, when you become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
either football or tennis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
you will be a friendly person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the huge number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can go out together and in the match you win or you lose together. All of these, can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "make"
makes
you more kind and amiable.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are the best place to build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Did you mean "let's" (let's = let us; lets = 3rd person singular of 'let')?
lets
encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
.
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IELTS essay participating in team sports helps to develop good character

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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