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In many nations many people in huge cities either live alone or in small units instead of in large extended family groups Why is this Is a positive or negative development v.2

In many nations many people in huge cities either live alone or in small units instead of in large extended family groups Why is this Is a positive or negative development v. 2
A large proportion of people throughout the world, in particular urban dwellers, more tend to accommodate alone or in small units than ever before. I think the public is set to place a paramount importance emphasis on their own personal interests and pragmatic interpersonal skills and helpful can be stemmed from such a way of living. The most axiomatic reason why people tend to live alone or in small units is mainly rooted in the concern that they place a great emphasis on their personal benefits. That is to say, people used to live in a community in which they were of the ethos of sharing and caring in relation to others, but nowadays, the vast majority of people is bound to pursue their own personal interests while preferring live lonely. A good illustration of this is clearly delineated by rural life in which all members of a family are highly likely to shoulder the certain and defined responsibility in the house. Therefore, on account of materialistic considerations, a number of people want to live separately from their extended family. In my opinion, living lonely should be taken into consideration as a constructive feature in favour of persons. To put it differently, regardless of financial perspective which firmly the viewpoint that people lay the groundwork it for personal rewarding, learning how to deal with demanding situations in the real-life context. Such individuals are likely to display acumen in facing a dilemma due to devoting entirely themselves to develop their interpersonal skills. taking down-to-earth decisions in any momentous occasion is another merit of accommodating separately. This in turn leads to the increased the art of life in the level of personality and society. To conclude, It can be advantageous for people who live lonely or in small units. I think it would be useful to improve themselves from both aspects not only financial status but also personality and becoming all-rounded persons.
A large proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
throughout the world,
in particular
urban dwellers, more tend to accommodate alone or in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
units than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the public
is set
to place a paramount importance emphasis on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
interests and pragmatic interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and helpful can
be stemmed
from such a way of living.

The most axiomatic reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone or in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
units is
mainly
rooted in the concern that they place a great emphasis on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
benefits.
That is
to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a community in which they were of the ethos of sharing and caring in relation to others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays, the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is bound
to pursue their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
interests while preferring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
lonely. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is
clearly
delineated by rural life in which all members of a family are
highly
likely to shoulder the certain and defined responsibility in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Therefore
, on account of materialistic considerations, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separately
from their extended family.

In my opinion, living lonely should
be taken
into consideration as a constructive feature in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of persons. To put it
differently
, regardless of financial perspective which
firmly
the viewpoint that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lay the groundwork it for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
rewarding, learning how to deal with demanding situations in the real-life context. Such individuals are likely to display acumen in facing a dilemma due to devoting
entirely
themselves to develop their interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
taking
down-to-earth decisions in any momentous occasion is another merit of accommodating
separately
. This in turn leads to the increased the art of life in the level of personality and society.

To conclude
, It can be advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
lonely or in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
units. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would be useful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves from both aspects not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
financial status
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
personality and becoming all-rounded persons.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In many nations many people in huge cities either live alone or in small units instead of in large extended family groups Why is this Is a positive or negative development v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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