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In many countries weddings are becoming bigger than the past? Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development? v.1

In many countries weddings are becoming bigger than the past? Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1
Who are better prepared to face the problems in adulthood – children from destitute condition or lavish background? Some believe that children who are from poor background are far better than those who are from rich families for handing the hassle in adult life, I agree with them due to two reasons. The primary reason why such a poor child is ready to handle the issues in the adult phase is that their parents teach them to be independent. It is true that poor families do not have enough money to spend on their children's education or support them in their studies, whereas, such problems are not faced by the rich class. Hence, such families entirely leave it to them to work as part-time and pay their tuition fees, which makes them independent. For instance, in India, many children from poor families work as part-time in order to continue their studies and be independent. Another reason is that such children from the poor class know the value of hardship and their struggle in life. While teenagers from rich families do not understand the struggle for the accomplishment of any task, teenagers from poor families do not forget and struggles a lot until they achieve it. For example, in a school, a child from a poor family struggles a lot while sitting under the street light and studies harder in order to come first in the class, whereas, a child from rich background gets everything but gets passing marks in the class. Therefore, such children understand the hardship from their childhood which makes them strong enough to struggle in adult life if it's needed. In conclusion, although some argue that poor children are not prepared for the problems in their adulthood, I disagree with them completely as not only do they know the hardship and struggle they face since childhood but also become independent in life.
Who are better prepared to face the problems in adulthood
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from destitute condition or lavish background?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
background are far better than those who are from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
for handing the hassle in adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them due to two reasons.

The primary reason why such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
child is ready to handle the issues in the adult phase is that their parents teach them to be independent. It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to spend on their children's education or support them in their studies, whereas, such problems are not faced by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Hence
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
entirely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
it to them to work as part-time and pay their tuition fees, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them independent.
For instance
, in India,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
work as part-time in order to continue their studies and be independent.

Another reason is that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
know the value of hardship and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
struggle
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
do not understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
struggle
for the accomplishment of any task,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
do not forget and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
struggles
a lot until they achieve it.
For example
, in a school, a child from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
struggles
a lot while sitting under the street light and studies harder in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
first
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, whereas, a child from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
background
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
passing marks in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Therefore
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
understand the hardship from their childhood which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
struggle
in adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
if it's needed.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not prepared for the problems in their adulthood, I disagree with them completely as not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they know the hardship and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
struggle
they face since childhood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
become independent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay In many countries weddings are becoming bigger than the past? Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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