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In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend? v.6

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend? v. 6
Nowadays, there is a global trend among city dwellers to live alone or with immediate family. In my opinion, this trend has more disadvantages than advantages because the elderly feel abundant and lonely as well as children do not see a good example of family bonds. First, the resent trend of living by small groups of immediate families, which replaced the living style of our grandparents, can be considered as negative development because the elderly after certain age are left behind. They are forced to live in elderly houses that obviously cannot replace a family. Even though somebody can argue that they have professional care in the face of nurses and communication among the peers, still they do not have any of family members surrounding them. As a result, old people feel lonely and abundant ad their children are not able to visit them on daily basis. Meanwhile, living in a large house with children and grandchildren brings them sense of joy and happiness. In addition, the older generation can help to up bring the youngsters while their parents are hectic at work. Living with the older members of the family would teach children compassion and respect to the elderly. As well as this, extended members of a family would be able help each other with house chores and taking care of children. It is understood that this way of life help us to strengthen family ties, which are rare nowadays. To illustrate, my mother grew up in a large family, where everyone tend to help each other. As a result, all member of her family have close bond with each other and they still stay in touch. In conclusion, I would like to emphasize that living separately from the family or having small family may look appealing from the first glance, I think that it is negative trend, which is more harmful than beneficial.
Nowadays, there is a global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
among city dwellers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone or with immediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In my opinion, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
has more disadvantages than advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
feel abundant and lonely
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds.

First
, the resent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
groups of immediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, which replaced the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
style of our grandparents, can
be considered
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
after certain age are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind. They
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
that
obviously
cannot replace a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Even though
somebody can argue that they have professional care in the face of nurses and communication among the peers,
still
they do not have any of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
surrounding them.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel lonely and abundant ad their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not able to visit them on daily basis.

Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and grandchildren brings them sense of joy and happiness.
In addition
, the older generation can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to up bring the youngsters while their parents are hectic at work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
with the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
would teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
compassion and respect to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
.
As well
as this, extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
would be able
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each other with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores and taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It
is understood
that this way of life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us to strengthen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
ties, which are rare nowadays. To illustrate, my mother grew up in a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, where everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "tends", "tended".
tend
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each other.
As a result
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
have close
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "bonded".
bond
with each
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
other and
they
still
stay in touch.

In conclusion
, I would like to emphasize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
separately
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
may look appealing from the
first
glance, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
, which is more harmful than beneficial.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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