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In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society?

In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society? qorP
Nowadays, it has been observed that the respect being bestowed to elderly people is gradually declining. Surely, and the technologies are the reasons for this trend and the way it affects the society cannot be neglected. Firstly, the irreverent attitude towards the elders is due to the inadequate time of parents to teach their children about morality. For instance, single parents have to work hardly and have no choice but to leave their offspring in the care of anyone who they think can accompany their children. On top of this, young generations are more occupied with materialistic possessions and are pampered by parents to which they are given so much freedom, unlike in the ancient times that all work were done using bare hands and children had to lend a hand. Since parents are unable to teach the kids the value of respecting others and find it unnecessary to show proper respect to elder people. As a result, faiilure to teach succeeding generations about mutual respect and family values will certainly invade and stain the harmonious life in the society. In addition, the demographic changes on the advancement of science and technology is greying the society as a whole. The greater exposure and dependence of the youth to technologies severs the relationship between families and deviates their time to study history and culture. To recapitulate, we are living in a society where senior citizens are big contributors, thus must be shown admirable respect and gratitude. Parents should, no matter what, continue to educate kids to respect old people and should also regulate the usage of technology at home to alleviate factors that put distance between families. These will help to achieve a harmonious society.
Nowadays, it has
been observed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
being bestowed
to elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
gradually
declining.
Surely
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are the reasons for this trend and the way it affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
cannot
be neglected
.

Firstly
, the irreverent attitude towards the elders is due to the inadequate time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to teach their children about morality.
For instance
, single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
The adverb 'hardly' is usually put before the verb 'work'.
work hardly
and have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their offspring in the care of anyone who they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
can accompany their children. On top of this, young generations are more occupied with materialistic possessions and
are pampered
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to which they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much freedom, unlike in the ancient times that all work
were done
using bare hands and children had to lend a hand.

Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are unable to teach the kids the value of respecting others and find it unnecessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
to elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
As a result
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
faiilure
to teach succeeding generations about mutual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
and family values will
certainly
invade and stain the harmonious life in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
In addition
, the demographic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
on the advancement of science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
greying
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole. The greater exposure and dependence of the youth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
severs the relationship between families and deviates their time to study history and culture.

To recapitulate, we are living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
where senior citizens are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
contributors,
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be shown
admirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
and gratitude.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should, no matter what, continue to educate kids to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and should
also
regulate the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
at home to alleviate factors that put distance between families. These will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to achieve a harmonious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.

IELTS essay In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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