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Some people believe schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others think that it is more crucial to reward students who show progress. Discuss both views and express your own opinion?

Some people believe schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others think that it is more crucial to reward students who show progress. 6wDW
Some people think top achievers should be rewarded whereas others believe it belongs to improving students. In my opinion, it belongs to both. The main goal of schools is to teach the students how to learn. The methods may vary from student to student. The motivation behind learning is getting reward. The reward can be both long term and short term. The students who are outshining others should be inspired through rewards. That will make them more focused and motivated next time. They will try to keep that top position through their studies and hard work. At the same time, progressive students require inspiration and motivation. It’s not easy to progress. One has to reevaluate his study style. They have to find their lacking and correct their mistakes from time to time. They have to pursue others to get recommendations and suggestions. The continuous progress can be fueled through rewards. Getting rewards for passing each hurdle make it worth. The student feel the urge to keep progressing. Such rewards can go a long way to uplift his mood as well as make him more focused. They can achieve astonishing results. In conclusion, rewarding system in schools is a proper way to make students keep progressing and motivated to hold that top position.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
top achievers should
be rewarded
whereas others believe it belongs to improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In my opinion, it belongs to both.

The main goal of schools is to teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
how to learn. The methods may vary from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
motivation behind learning is getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
can be both long term and short term.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are outshining others should
be inspired
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
. That will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them more focused and motivated
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. They will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
that top position through their studies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.

At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, progressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
require inspiration and motivation. It’s not easy to progress. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
reevaluate his study style. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find their lacking and correct their mistakes from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pursue others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
recommendations and suggestions. The continuous progress can
be fueled
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
. Getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
for passing each hurdle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it worth. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
feel the urge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
progressing. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
can go a long way to uplift his mood
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
him more focused. They can achieve astonishing results.

In conclusion
, rewarding system in schools is a proper way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
progressing and motivated to hold that top position.

IELTS essay Some people believe schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others think that it is more crucial to reward students who show progress.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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