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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement In order to be well informed a person must get information from many different news sources v.2

In order to be well informed a person must get information from many different news sources v. 2
On the contemporary era each individuals tend to be aware about events which are happening surroungins them cause these can be helpful information for they personal lives. There is a controversial question regarding this issue, Whether people must gain information from variety of press channels or not? personally, I believe it is not good idea to waste our time on different news sources that will make us more confuse. I have two reasons for my viewpoint, which will be mentioned in the following essay. To begin with, I concur the fact that we must be well-informed about our circumestance we are living in, but besides that, we have several other crucial facts in our life, our job for instance. wasting precious time on reading various newspapers which indicate same news is not wisdly action. On the other hand, we can choose a valuable and reliable source of news to merely check that specific one. I have a cousin who is addicted to seek new events from numerious websides. His unsuccessful life is a great evidence that indicates he is spending considerable amount of his time, which must be used in other aspects of his life to enhance his lifestyle, on not vital activity. Secondly, when we found wild range of opinion regarding a phenomenon it makes us confused, not be able to understand which one is true. being hasitate can lead us to be a angry person and it will have great effects on our relationship with our friends and family. my father is used to watching all of the press channels and he complains why they do not have same perspective? which one we should consider? these challange in his mind ruin his relationship with us, he forgets that he have other responsibilities in his life. In my opinion, it is not worthwhile to harm your other aspects of life because of ridiculous news. To make the long story short, acording to the aforementioned arguments I believe we must choose a valuable source which can informe us about important events which is occured around us. By doing so, we have ability to spend some joyful life with our family and friends since we can focus on it, in addition, we have extra time to fulfill our dreams cause we have limitted time in this world.
On the contemporary era each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "individual"?
individuals
tend to be aware about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which are happening
Possible spelling mistake found.
surroungins
them cause these can be helpful information for they personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. There is a controversial question regarding this issue, Whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
gain information from variety of press channels or not?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
personally
, I believe it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to waste our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
sources that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us more confuse. I have two reasons for my viewpoint, which will
be mentioned
in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I concur the fact that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be well-informed about our
Possible spelling mistake found.
circumestance
we are living in,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
besides
that, we have several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
crucial facts in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, our job
for instance
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
wasting
precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on reading various newspapers which indicate same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
wisdly
action. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, we can choose a valuable and reliable source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to
merely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
that specific one. I have a cousin who
is addicted
to seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
numerious
Possible spelling mistake found.
websides
. His unsuccessful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is a great evidence that indicates he is spending considerable amount of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to enhance his lifestyle, on not vital activity.

Secondly
, when we found wild range of opinion regarding a phenomenon it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us confused, not be able to understand which one is true.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
being
Possible spelling mistake found.
hasitate
can lead us to be
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
angry person and it will have great effects on our relationship with our friends and family.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
father is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to watching
Consider using "all the".
all of the
press
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
channels and
he complains why they do not have same perspective?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
one we should consider?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
Possible spelling mistake found.
challange
in his mind ruin his relationship with us, he forgets that he have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
responsibilities in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In my opinion, it is not worthwhile to harm your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of ridiculous news.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the long story short,
Possible spelling mistake found.
acording
to the aforementioned arguments I believe we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose a valuable source which can
Possible spelling mistake found.
informe
us about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which is
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "occurred", the past tense form of the verb 'occur'?
occured
around us. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, we have ability to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
joyful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with our family and friends since we can focus on it,
in addition
, we have extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to fulfill our dreams
Did you mean "because we"?
cause we
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
limitted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in this world.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay In order to be well informed a person must get information from many different news sources v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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