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In many countries, the number of yearly car accidents is very high. What are the reasons? What should be done to deal with this?

In many countries, the number of yearly car accidents is very high. What are the reasons? What should be done to deal with this? gG363
In today’s world, many countries having a very high number of car crashes annually. There are a number of reasons for this issue and several solutions should be adopted by governments and individuals to improve the situation. To begin with, there are two reasons that cause car collisions. Firstly, many people drive at a great speed while they are distracted by feeling sleepy or tired, and some even use their phones and alcohol while driving. This can bring out accidents because distracted drivers have slower reaction times and suffer from reduced attention, awareness, and ability to control their vehicles. Secondly, there are many roads which are in bad condition and have not been repaired for a long time. As a result, poorly maintained roadways increase the risk of a popped tire and influence a driver’s ability to brake adequately. The unwelcome results of this are manifold, and workable approaches mentioned below should be taken into consideration. First of all, the government should have some strict laws to punish drivers if they use phones or alcohol when driving. In addition, there need to be more emergency stopping lanes for any car which drivers feel sleepy and tired so that they can relax for a while or call somebody else for helping. Second of all, it is necessary to checked the road periodic by local authority in order to avoid the accident as soon as possible. For example, fixing any pothole timely can reduce the number of people injured when driving late at night. In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for car accidents, and steps need to be taken to tackle this problem.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
crashes
annually
. There are a number of reasons for this issue and several solutions should
be adopted
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are two reasons that cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
collisions.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
drive at a great speed while they
are distracted
by feeling sleepy or tired, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their phones and alcohol while driving. This can bring out accidents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
distracted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
have slower reaction times and suffer from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
attention, awareness, and ability to control their vehicles.
Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
roads which are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
condition and have not
been repaired
for a long time.
As a result
,
poorly
maintained roadways increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of a popped tire and influence a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver’s
ability to brake
adequately
.

The unwelcome results of this are manifold, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
workable
approaches mentioned below should
be taken
into consideration.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict laws to punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
phones or alcohol when driving.
In addition
, there need to be more emergency stopping lanes for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
feel sleepy and tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can relax for a while or call somebody else for helping. Second of all, it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
the road periodic by local authority in order to avoid the accident as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
For example
, fixing any pothole timely can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
injured when driving late at night.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are various reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
accidents, and steps need to
be taken
to tackle this problem.
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IELTS essay In many countries, the number of yearly car accidents is very high. What are the reasons? What should be done to deal with this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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