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In many countries, the military semester is obligatory in education. There are many advantages and disadvantages that students may face when join military activities

In many countries, the military semester is obligatory in education. There are many advantages and disadvantages that students may face when join military activities 6lp88
The first advantage students who take part in militay activities have is they could understand more about their country’s defence. The second, the students will have a lot of experience and skill could join military when their country recruit. For example, when the country is at war or lack of soldiers, students who used to join military activities could recruited and protect their country. In another hand, students could face many challenges when they are in the military semester. The military semester take many time of students. Instead of join military activities, the students could learn others subjects that can support their future profession or improve their soft skill. Habit life in the military semester is difference from normal life. For íntance, in military semester students have to eat and sleep on time and using smartphone is fobidden. In conclusion, there are many pros and corn when students take part in military semester. I believe that althought have many advantages and disavantages, the military semester is very important and should be remain in some of countries
The
first
advantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
militay
activities have is they could understand more about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
. The second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
military when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
recruit.
For example
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is at war or lack of soldiers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
military activities could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "recruit"
recruited
and protect their country.

In another hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges when they are in the military semester. The military semester take
Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: "many times".
many time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
military activities, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could learn others subjects that can support their future profession or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. Habit life in the military semester is difference from normal life. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
íntance
, in military semester
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
eat and sleep on time and using smartphone is
Possible spelling mistake found.
fobidden
.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros and corn when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in military semester. I believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
althought
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages and
Possible spelling mistake found.
disavantages
, the military semester is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and should be
Consider using the past participle "remained"?
remain
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
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IELTS essay In many countries, the military semester is obligatory in education. There are many advantages and disadvantages that students may face when join military activities

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
175 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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