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Education is the only means to improve the social and psychological well-being of people. To what extent do you agree and disagree ?

Education is the only means to improve the social and psychological well-being of people. wKmVN
In this modern society, psychological and social health is a vital and a necessary compound of lifestyle for many of us. However, enhancing social and psychological needs of people, education is not only the one medium to refine it but one of the means to improve it. Moreover, even I believe in great extent that education is not only the way to boost the mental and social health of public. To begin with, education alone can not build up the social and psychological well-being of people because until people does not apply taught methods and way in school or life classes in life, till that time it would be useless to teach and educating people who does not want to put afford to study and achieve progress in social and thinking skills. As, social and psychological needs are the fundamental base for getting success in any field or in life. Thus, counselling and action taking are two main counterpart of education because only having awareness would be knowledge not wisdom as action, practice and experience is lacking. Furthermore, the perfect platforms and opportunities to improve would be through the improving standard of living, condition of jobs as well as atmosphere at home and at office for instance people living in a crack house will have undoubtedly low social and psychological health compared to rich and well-maintained house. Hence, the state have to ensure fair and secure jobs to their citizens and good culture in society. In summary, the government initiatives and counselling classes would be one of the means to enhance the social and mental well-being, just not education. As, awareness and educating people would be a first step of development.
In this modern society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
health is a vital and a necessary compound of lifestyle for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us.
However
, enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the one medium to refine it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one of the means to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it.
Moreover
, even I believe in great extent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the way to boost the mental and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
health of public.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
alone can not build up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
well-being of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
until
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
does
not apply taught methods and way in school or life classes in life, till that time it would be useless to teach and educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "do"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
does
not want to put afford to study and achieve progress in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. As,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
needs are the fundamental base for getting success in any field or in life.
Thus
, counselling and action taking are two main
Possible agreement error. The noun 'counterpart' seems to be countable, so consider using: "counterparts".
counterpart
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
having awareness would be knowledge not wisdom as action, practice and experience is lacking.

Furthermore
, the perfect platforms and opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
would be through the improving standard of living, condition of jobs
as well
as atmosphere at home and at office
for instance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in a crack
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
will have
undoubtedly
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
health compared to rich and well-maintained
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Hence
, the state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
ensure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and secure jobs to their citizens and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
culture in society.

In summary, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
initiatives and counselling classes would be one of the means to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and mental well-being,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. As, awareness and educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be a
first
step of development.
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IELTS essay Education is the only means to improve the social and psychological well-being of people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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