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In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent

In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent Jojgj
Crime is on the rise around the world, especially cases of violence are becoming more. I am completely agree with this view. In recent decade years, the number of armed aggression and violence in high democtratic states is growing. In addation, brutals, particular, become common situation, and many people are not afraid of punishment. The reason is that robbery is a type of punishment that is pardoned at the expense of a fine. Therefore, the proportion of children from wealthy families in violence is high. Besides, most violence can be caused by alcohol or other similar facts, but I don not think so. In my opinion, children are brought up in the wrong education in the family and at school. Most parents are not only struggling to make money at work but dont have information about their children's daily activities. These days, school children are playing more in computer games and other brutal games through mobile phones without going to school. As a result, they commit serious crimes by imitating which they see movies and game heroes. In summary, not only the Government but also every parent and teacher should pay attention to the upbringing of the child and not allow the use of mobile phones and internet networks if it is not necessary.
Crime is on the rise around the world,
especially
cases of
violence
are becoming more. I am completely
agree
with this view.

In recent decade years, the number of armed aggression and
violence
in high
democtratic
states is growing. In
addation
,
brutals
, particular, become common situation, and
many
people
are not afraid of punishment. The reason is that robbery is a type of punishment that
is pardoned
at the expense of a fine.
Therefore
, the proportion of children from wealthy families in
violence
is high.

Besides
, most
violence
can
be caused
by alcohol or other similar facts,
but
I
don not
think
so
.

In my opinion, children
are brought
up in the
wrong
education in the family and at school. Most parents are not
only
struggling to
make
money at work
but
dont
have information about their children's daily activities.

These days, school children are playing more in computer games and other brutal games through mobile phones without going to school.
As a result
, they commit serious crimes by imitating which they
see
movies and game heroes.

In summary, not
only
the
Government
but
also
every parent and teacher should pay attention to the upbringing of the child and not
allow
the
use
of mobile phones and internet networks if it is not necessary.
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IELTS essay In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
214 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
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Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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