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Giang is my friend the most

Giang is my friend the most qV3XD
Until now, the person that I admire the most is Giang - She is my friend. I and Giang are classmates from elementary school to high school. Now, we are still close friends so we actually understand each other very well. Giang is a small girl with a slim body. She has long hair and an oblong face. Opposed to her appearance, she is a strong and energetic girl. Being born and raised in a poor family, she strived to study for a high result. During the time at school, she always was the top student in my class and was loved by many people. In 8th grade, her older brother died of cancer and six months later, her mother also passed away from the fatal disease. It thought everything would stop here, but misfortune happened to her once again, her father passed away in a traffic accident when she was in 10th grade. I don’t know how to describe the pain she suffered but it was really horrible for her. That time, I thought that she would break down and give up everything. But not, she was still very strong to continue with her life after all the bad things happened. Currently, she works as a doctor at a big hospital in Hanoi where she had dreamed since student time. As everyone can see, Giang is an extraordinary and admirable girl. She never surrendered to fate but bravely faced and overcame it. All of them made me admire her and see her as a model to learn from.
Until
now
, the person that I admire the most is
Giang
-
She is my friend. I and
Giang
are classmates from elementary school to high school.
Now
, we are
still
close friends
so
we actually understand each other
very
well.
Giang
is a
small
girl with a slim body. She has long hair and an oblong face. Opposed to her appearance, she is a strong and energetic girl.
Being born
and raised in a poor family, she strived to study for a high result. During the time at school, she
always was
the top student in my
class
and was
loved
by
many
people
. In 8th grade, her older brother
died
of cancer and six months later, her mother
also
passed away from the fatal disease. It
thought
everything would
stop
here,
but
misfortune happened to her once again, her father passed away in a traffic accident when she was in 10th grade. I don’t know how to
describe
the pain she suffered
but
it was
really
horrible for her. That time, I
thought
that she would break down and give up everything.
But
not, she was
still
very
strong to continue with her life
after all
the
bad
things happened.
Currently
, she works as a doctor at a
big
hospital in Hanoi where she had dreamed since student time. As everyone can
see
,
Giang
is an extraordinary and admirable girl. She never surrendered to fate
but
bravely
faced and overcame it. All of them made me admire her and
see
her as a model to learn from.
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IELTS essay Giang is my friend the most

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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