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In many countries the average of life expantancy has been increased what is the problem and what will the cause for individual. Give some solution for this

In many countries the average of life expantancy has been increased what is the problem and what will the cause for individual. Give some solution for this Nygwj
It has been a universally acknowledged that, the problem of the life expectancy is escalating at an alarming rate in the current scenario. This problem has been a depressing magnitude. Although a plethora of reason are there yet some sensible solutions are available to curb this grave concern. Commencing with the cause which are the growth of it. The high uses of medicines. To demonstrate this point, in the past years, people don't use medicine as much now. These days, old people and young generation use medicines to improve there immune system and for health weakness. The second contributing factor is government funding as pensions. Conclusivily, most of the families are neclur these days, so much older people can not work any where. so youth have need to spend thousand of rupee's on there take care and medicines. on this reason they are burden on the youth. In order to solve this serious issue some measures can be taken. prevent from the high use of medicines. To illustrate this point, highdoses of medicines are dangerous for human health. because most of people only rely on medicine s it has a bad impact on there lungs. In addition to this, youth should not use drugs. Like alcohol, cocane more. it create many health issues. To recapitulated, unquestionably this problem has become a burning question of the day. Therefore, it is not an easy task to solve this. Goverment and people should come to forward to mitigate the complex issue. .
It has been a
universally
acknowledged that, the problem of the life expectancy is escalating at an alarming rate in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario. This problem has been a depressing magnitude. Although a plethora of reason are there
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sensible solutions are available to curb this grave concern. Commencing with the cause which are the growth of it. The high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of medicines. To demonstrate this point, in the past years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
as much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and young generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
medicines to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
there immune system and for health weakness. The second contributing factor is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funding as pensions.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Conclusivily
, most of the families are
Possible spelling mistake found.
neclur
these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not work
Did you mean "anywhere"?
any where
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
youth have need to spend
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
of rupee's on
Did you mean "their"?
there
take care and medicines.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
this reason they are burden on the youth. In order to solve this serious issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures can
be taken
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
prevent
from the high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of medicines. To illustrate this point,
Possible spelling mistake found.
highdoses
of medicines are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for human health.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
s it has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on
Did you mean "their"?
there
lungs.
In addition
to this, youth should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
drugs. Like alcohol,
Possible spelling mistake found.
cocane
more.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
Did you mean "creates"?
create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health issues. To recapitulated,
unquestionably
this problem has become a burning question of the day.
Therefore
, it is not an easy task to solve this.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Goverment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to forward to mitigate the complex issue.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS essay In many countries the average of life expantancy has been increased what is the problem and what will the cause for individual. Give some solution for this

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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