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IN MANY COUNTRIES, SMALL SHOPS ARE CLOSING. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? IS IT A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT.

IN MANY COUNTRIES, SMALL SHOPS ARE CLOSING. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? IS IT A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT. d5E32
The business represents an organised effort of an individual or strata of the population engaged in making a living. Due to the advancement of technology, the majority of micro sellers subsequently forced to shut down their enterprise. There are multifarious reasons why small enterprises winding up such as competitive price and constraint in stocking the variety of products. I propound that it is an advantageous process for the development of a country. One of the foremost causes of diminishing the sole traders is the liberalization of the economy and foreign investment. To gain a customer base multinational companies triggers a price war with local vendors but due to reduced profits micro-merchants are enforced to lock their businesses. For example, Amazon gave big discounts on their website to expand their market reach which hampers the growth of small shops owners. Hence, economic development has certain repercussion on micro industries. Moreover, due to hectic lifestyle people prefer to visit a store where they can find different items under one roof. As sole traders are diminishing due to the rise in multinational brands ultimately boost the production and maximize the utilization of resources with minimum wastage thus making a product more economical. For instance, China has reduced the input cost by increasing productivity. Therefore, shutting sole enterprise has certain benefits in a longer perspective. Furthermore, micro industries are mostly unorganised so its reduction will uprise the organised sector and help governments to increase tax revenue which could be further invested in economic and social causes. To conclude, small and big businesses have their own pros and cons. However, promoting the organised sector helps to raise the economic structure and individuals standard of living.
The business represents an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
effort of an individual or strata of the population engaged in making a living.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the advancement of technology, the majority of micro sellers
subsequently
forced to shut down their enterprise. There are multifarious reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
enterprises winding up such as competitive price and constraint in stocking the variety of products. I propound that it is an advantageous process for the development of a country.

One of the foremost causes of diminishing the sole traders is the liberalization of the economy and foreign investment. To gain a customer base multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
triggers a price war with local vendors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
profits micro-merchants
are enforced
to lock their businesses.
For example
, Amazon gave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
discounts on their website to expand their market reach which hampers the growth of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shops owners.
Hence
, economic development has certain repercussion on micro industries.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to hectic lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to visit a store where they can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
items under one roof.

As sole traders are diminishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the rise in multinational brands
ultimately
boost the production and maximize the utilization of resources with minimum wastage
thus
making a product more economical.
For instance
, China has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the input cost by increasing productivity.
Therefore
, shutting sole enterprise has certain benefits in a longer perspective.
Furthermore
, micro industries are
mostly
Possible spelling mistake found.
unorganised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
its reduction will uprise the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
sector and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to increase tax revenue which could be
further
invested in economic and social causes.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
businesses have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons.
However
, promoting the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to raise the economic structure and individuals standard of living.
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IELTS essay IN MANY COUNTRIES, SMALL SHOPS ARE CLOSING. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? IS IT A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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