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In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. Do you think this should this be enforced in all schools? v.1

In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. Do you think this should this be enforced in all schools? v. 1
There have been a plethora of arguments regarding the unification of uniform in schools. While the consensus is it has beneficial aspects of students’ morale, some experts opt for giving the pupils their freedom of choice. I think it should be enforced to wear the same uniform. On the one hand, some scholars consider freedom of choice as a value that must be implemented within youngsters, on top of that, some children would prefer to present their identity through their clothing. a prominent reason for this is the eagerness of teenagers to stand out among the crowd. For instance, in recent research scrutinized the statistics of 104 schools in London Last year, and the results have put forward the hypothesis that 8% of students felt better about “casual Thursday”, which will be inducing better education atmosphere in the foreseeable future. Therefore, it might be a good idea to ban schools from forcing a specific style. However, the percentage of them is small enough to be ignored and to consider the reasons On the other hand, for a myriad of reasons the income level of the students’ families can vary, moreover, their ability to purchase exorbitant clothes for their offspring can be a hardship for them. One particularly salient example of this is a research paper of the University of Cambridge that surveyed middle-class adolescences in high schools, which implied that they felt less than their peers when it comes to comparing their clothes during summer camps. Hence it is crucial to maintaining the morale within the campus by removing any signs of privilege. Although some would argue it should be the principal decision, they admitted that they made a blatant mistake by not considering the implication of such sole-opinion, which they made erring on the side of caution Due to the aforementioned reasons, I am a staunch supporter of enforcing a unified uniform. While some pedagogical consider this enforcing insurmountable, I believe the government should ease this decision.
There have been a plethora of arguments regarding the unification of uniform in
schools
. While the consensus is it has beneficial aspects of students’ morale,
some
experts opt for giving the pupils their freedom of choice. I
think
it should
be enforced
to wear the same uniform.

On the one hand,
some
scholars consider freedom of choice as a value that
must
be implemented
within youngsters,
on top of that
,
some
children would prefer to present their identity through their clothing.
a
prominent reason for this is the eagerness of
teenagers
to stand out among the crowd.
For instance
, in recent research scrutinized the statistics of 104
schools
in London Last year, and the results have put forward the hypothesis that 8% of students felt better about “casual Thursday”, which will be inducing better education atmosphere in the foreseeable future.
Therefore
, it might be a
good
idea
to ban
schools
from forcing a specific style.
However
, the percentage of them is
small
enough
to be
ignored
and to consider the reasons

On the other hand
, for a myriad of reasons the income level of the students’ families can vary,
moreover
, their ability to
purchase
exorbitant clothes for their offspring can be a hardship for them. One
particularly
salient example of this is a research paper of the University of Cambridge that surveyed middle-
class
adolescences in high
schools
, which implied that they felt less than their peers when it
comes
to comparing their clothes during summer camps.
Hence
it is crucial to
maintaining
the morale within the campus by removing any signs of privilege. Although
some
would argue it should be the principal decision, they admitted that they made a blatant mistake by not considering the implication of such sole-opinion, which they made erring on the side of
caution


Due to the aforementioned reasons, I am a staunch supporter of enforcing a unified uniform. While
some
pedagogical consider this enforcing insurmountable, I believe the
government
should
ease
this decision.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. Do you think this should this be enforced in all schools? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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