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In many countries school age childre spend their time doing excessive homework. Is it a good or bad thing? Give examples based on your own experience.

In many countries school age childre spend their time doing excessive homework. Is it a good or bad thing? Give examples based on your own experience. BrQ9
Education system mainly focuses on enriching the students with abundant knowledge which helps them to build their bright future. School going children are basically focused on classroom education and homework. Certain countries pay more attention towards homework which consumes excessive amount of student's time. Teaching provided in class and work given to perform from home are the main pillars of education system. Firstly, homework given to students help them to study extra throughout the day apart from the school hours. However this help pupils to boost their knowledge which will lead to better performance in their exams. Secondly, homework also teaches them to manage their time accordingly for study activities as well as outdoor activities. For example, the syllabus taught in the school is being repeated by the student as a form of homework. This on the other hand, helps the student to revise the study which later on boosts the confidence level in exam hall. On the contrary, sometimes homework becomes the burden on a student life. Excessive amount of study makes the student dull and boring. Furthermore, a child engaged more in study will deprived of the practical knowledge which seems to be more helpful in their career. A child will become unaware about the extra curricular activities like sports, drama, games, communicational skills and many more. Moreover, at certain point the health is also affected adversely which results in severe diseases like obesity, stress, depression, poor eye sight and a lot more. For instance, the excessive amount of homework will lead in lack of exercise which will result in low stamina. In addition to that, it also proves hazardous to the mental wellbeing as the pressure of completing homework on time causes stress. To summarize, homework is the foremost requirement to gain knowledge and perform well in academics. Whereas, excessive homework may affect badly on the overall development and upbringing of a student. So, there must be a balance between academics and leisure activities in a life of a student.
Education system
mainly
focuses on enriching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with abundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to build their bright future. School going children are
basically
focused on classroom education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
. Certain countries pay more attention towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
which consumes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excessive
amount of student's time.

Teaching provided in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to perform from home are the main pillars of education system.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
extra throughout the day apart from the school hours.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
pupils to boost their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
which will lead to better performance in their exams.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
also
teaches them to manage their time
accordingly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
as well
as outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For example
, the syllabus taught in the school is
being repeated
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
as a form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
. This
on the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to revise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
which later on boosts the confidence level in exam hall.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
becomes the burden on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Excessive
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
dull and boring.
Furthermore
, a child engaged more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "deprive"
deprived
of the practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
which seems to be more helpful in their career. A child will become unaware about the
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like sports, drama, games,
Possible spelling mistake found.
communicational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Moreover
, at certain point the health is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
adversely
which results in severe diseases like obesity,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, depression, poor
This word is usually spelt together: "eyesight".
eye sight
and a lot more.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excessive
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
will lead in lack of exercise which will result in low stamina.
In addition
to that, it
also
proves hazardous to the mental
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
as the pressure of completing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
on time causes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
is the foremost requirement to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and perform well in academics. Whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
may affect
badly
on the
overall
development and upbringing of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a balance between academics and leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in a life of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
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IELTS essay In many countries school age childre spend their time doing excessive homework. Is it a good or bad thing? Give examples based on your own experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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