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In many countries, people would rather rent a house instead of buying one. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of renting v.1

In many countries, people would rather rent a house instead of buying one. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of renting v. 1
Recently, many people have preferred renting a house over purchasing one in a significant number of countries worldwide. While there are some advantages to such an approach, there are also some disadvantages to consider. In this essay, I will explain some of the merits and the drawbacks related to this trend. To begin with, one paramount renting advantage is the absence of a mortgage. This is because this monthly paid money can create financial burdens upon families despite their incomes. For example, a paper published by economists at Cambridge University in 2019 declared that people who buy their houses are expected to spend about 50% of their salaries as mortgages. Furthermore, this lifestyle can increase people’s flexibility to relocate. This is since these people would easily move from one place to another without losing any money trying to sell their homes. As a result, these people usually get better job opportunities, which can help them to develop their careers. Turning to the disadvantages of this phenomenon, one critical demerit of renting is weakened social relations. The reason for this is the continuous relocation of families without settling in one place for a long time. Consequently, this would lead to being introverted because of the lack of communication with these people’s neighbors. Besides, this way of life can also negatively affect renters’ offspring's academic future. This is because moving from one school to another repeatedly can enforce them to achieve poorly in their studies as these children need time to adapt to their schools. For instance, research conducted by pedagogical experts at the Egyptian ministry of education revealed that renters’ children are more likely to academically suffer in their schools by 50%. In conclusion, although lessened financial burden and flexibility are some of the main merits for renting a house instead of buying one, weakened social relations and the renters’ children's poor academic achievements are crucial demerits that should be taken into consideration.
Recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
over purchasing one in a significant number of countries worldwide. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages to such an approach, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages to consider. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
merits and the drawbacks related to this trend.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one paramount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
advantage is the absence of a mortgage. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this monthly paid money can create financial burdens upon families despite their incomes.
For example
, a paper published by economists at Cambridge University in 2019 declared that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to spend about 50% of their salaries as mortgages.
Furthermore
, this lifestyle can increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
flexibility to relocate. This is since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one place to another without losing any money trying to sell their homes.
As a result
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better job opportunities, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to develop their careers.

Turning to the disadvantages of this phenomenon, one critical demerit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
is weakened
social relations.
The reason for this is
the continuous relocation of families without settling in one place for a long time.
Consequently
, this would lead to
being introverted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of communication with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
neighbors.
Besides
, this way of life can
also
negatively
affect renters’ offspring's academic future. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
moving from one school to another
repeatedly
can enforce them to achieve
poorly
in their studies as these children need time to adapt to their schools.
For instance
, research conducted by pedagogical experts at the Egyptian ministry of education revealed that renters’ children are more likely to
academically
suffer in their schools by 50%.

In conclusion
, although lessened financial burden and flexibility are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
main merits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
instead
of buying one, weakened social relations and the renters’ children's poor academic achievements are crucial demerits that should
be taken
into consideration.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, people would rather rent a house instead of buying one. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of renting v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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