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In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement.Discuss why they do so and what the outcome of this situation is. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after retirement. Discuss why this is so and the outcomes of this situation. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 3
Moving in clear and small towns for those who are spending their time in a retirement period has become a debatable topic for sociologists. However, I believe that this trend not only can help the aging population to have a better life-style than cities but it also improves their health rate factors and increases their life expectancy. Most of us have been living in huge cities under the pressure of things like traffic, cost of living, population congestion, air pollution, etc since we were born. Given that, life makes us tired and old sooner than we could imagine. For example, researches have shown that cancer rate in Tehran contaminated with extensive pollutants is 10 times higher than north cities in Iran like Ramsar or Sari. Therefore, people prefer to move to clear places since their life is under the risks of many dangerous factors. This phenomenon results in reverse migration which empowers small cities’ economy. For instance, When retirees move to small villages they spend their money in the local market. Furthermore, their offspring come to visit their parents frequently which can be beneficial for local markets as well. In summary, there is no need to accommodate the old population under the pressure of living in congested cities while they are not able to work in the labor market. I think that both the government and individuals must ease the process of swapping young population in small cities with old population regarding supplying powerful workers for market and providing a peaceful life-style for retirement.
Moving in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
towns for those who are spending their time in a retirement period has become a debatable topic for sociologists.
However
, I believe that this trend not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the aging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
to have a better life-style than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their health rate factors and increases their life expectancy.

Most of us have been living in huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
under the pressure of things like traffic, cost of living,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
congestion, air pollution, etc since we
were born
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that, life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us tired and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
sooner than we could imagine.
For example
, researches have shown that cancer rate in Tehran contaminated with extensive pollutants is 10 times higher than north
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in Iran like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ramsar
or Sari.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
places since their life is under the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
factors.

This phenomenon results in reverse migration which empowers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities’
economy.
For instance
, When retirees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
villages they spend their money in the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
.
Furthermore
, their offspring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to visit their parents
frequently
which can be beneficial for local markets
as well
.

In summary, there is no need to accommodate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
under the pressure of living in congested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
while they are not able to work in the labor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the process of swapping young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
regarding supplying powerful workers for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
and providing a peaceful life-style for retirement.
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IELTS essay In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why they do so and what the outcome of this situation is. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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